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Figs

miss direct

misfungled
Figs are in season now here. When I lived in the UK I only knew them as my Grandad's favourite biscuit, the fig roll, or dried up things my Mum would put on her muesli. But now I am enlightened to the joy of fresh figs. Can't wait to get my teeth into some later.

Does anyone have any interesting ideas of things to do with figs? I usually just wash them, cut a cross in the top and eat them like that.
 
Dried figs are vile. I wouldn't mind trying fresh ones but the wasp thing puts me off.
 
Dried figs are vile. I wouldn't mind trying fresh ones but the wasp thing puts me off.

I prefer dried figs to fresh, but maybe that's just down to poor quality fresh ones available here.

The wasp thing doesn't bother me, as I thought all fruit was the result of insect pollination?
 
Fresh figs don't really need anything, except maybe some Greek yoghurt or mascarpone. I've heard you can stuff them or bake wrapped in bacon but I reckon that's gilding the lily
 
Never really want figs. I will eat them but would happily not bother again. Never knew about the wasp thing.
 
In my last house we had a big fig tree in the garden, this time of year they were all coming ripe and were absolutely delicious. I prefer them raw, straight from the tree.

Rather than wasps, the main competition for ours was starlings, they used to love a bit of fig.
 
I struggle with fresh ones.
I have a childhood memory of the home-made fig jam made by the French family I stayed with near Bordeaux from the figs from the garden of their seaside holiday home - but have never found a fig jam since that wasn't too sweet.

I spent my 35th year going to a rave a week and coming home to eat mostly bananas, dried figs and water from 5 litre containers ... but that killed any great love of bananas.

If I can get them, I usually have a kilo box of Tunisian Deglet Nour dates on the go .. and in their absence I usually resort to dried figs.
 
Quite a sexy fruit according to some!

figs.jpg

Figs
by D.H. Lawrence

The proper way to eat a fig, in society,
Is to split it in four, holding it by the stump,
And open it, so that it is a glittering, rosy, moist, honied, heavy-petalled four-petalled flower.

Then you throw away the skin
Which is just like a four-sepalled calyx,
After you have taken off the blossom, with your lips.

But the vulgar way
Is just to put your mouth to the crack, and take out the flesh in one bite.

Every fruit has its secret.

The fig is a very secretive fruit.
As you see it standing growing, you feel at once it is symbolic:
And it seems male.
But when you come to know it better, you agree with the Romans, it is female.

The Italians vulgarly say, it stands for the female part; the fig-fruit:
The fissure, the yoni,
The wonderful moist conductivity towards the centre.

Involved,
Inturned,
The flowering all inward and womb-fibrilled;
And but one orifice.

The fig, the horse-shoe, the squash-blossom.
Symbols.

There was a flower that flowered inward, womb-ward;
Now there is a fruit like a ripe womb.

It was always a secret.
That’s how it should be, the female should always be secret.

There never was any standing aloft and unfolded on a bough
Like other flowers, in a revelation of petals;
Silver-pink peach, venetian green glass of medlars and sorb-apples,
Shallow wine-cups on short, bulging stems
Openly pledging heaven:
Here’s to the thorn in flower ! Here is to Utterance!
The brave, adventurous rosaceæ.

Folded upon itself, and secret unutterable,
And milky-sapped, sap that curdles milk and makes ricotta,
Sap that smells strange on your fingers, that even goats won’t taste it;
Folded upon itself, enclosed like any Mohammedan woman,
Its nakedness all within-walls, its flowering forever unseen,
One small way of access only, and this close-curtained from the light;
Fig, fruit of the female mystery, covert and inward,
Mediterranean fruit, with your covert nakedness,
Where everything happens invisible, flowering and fertilization, and fruiting
In the inwardness of your you, that eye will never see
Till it’s finished, and you’re over-ripe, and you burst to give up your ghost.

Till the drop of ripeness exudes,
And the year is over.

And then the fig has kept her secret long enough.
So it explodes, and you see through the fissure the scarlet.
And the fig is finished, the year is over.

That’s how the fig dies, showing her crimson through the purple slit
Like a wound, the exposure of her secret, on the open day.
Like a prostitute, the bursten fig, making a show of her secret.

That’s how women die too.

The year is fallen over-ripe,
The year of our women.
The year of our women is fallen over-ripe.
The secret is laid bare.
And rottenness soon sets in.
The year of our women is fallen over-ripe.

When Eve once knew in her mind that she was naked
She quickly sewed fig-leaves, and sewed the same for the man.
She’d been naked all her days before,
But till then, till that apple of knowledge, she hadn’t had the fact on her mind.

She got the fact on her mind, and quickly sewed fig-leaves.
And women have been sewing ever since.
But now they stitch to adorn the bursten fig, not to cover it.
They have their nakedness more than ever on their mind,
And they won’t let us forget it.

Now, the secret
Becomes an affirmation through moist, scarlet lips
That laugh at the Lord’s indignation.

What then, good Lord! cry the women.
We have kept our secret long enough.
We are a ripe fig.
Let us burst into affirmation.

They forget, ripe figs won’t keep.
Ripe figs won’t keep.

Honey-white figs of the north, black figs with scarlet inside, of the south.
Ripe figs won’t keep, won’t keep in any clime.
What then, when women the world over have all bursten into affirmation?
And bursten figs won’t keep?
 
they were a revelation to me too,straight off the tree in Rhodes really don't like the dried ones

Yogurt and a drizzle of honey seems the trad way to go for a quality breakfast treat , Or sitting under the tree picking and munching
 
I love fresh figs but have suddenly become allergic too them.
Not terribly but my lips get swollen and tingly and my throat itches like hell.
It's just enough discomfort to stop me eating then :(
 
I've known a few people say that - mainly about hard fruits like apples and pears. Wonder what causes it?


I am wondering if it is the fig itself or a pesticide used on them specifically, as I don't get it with other fruit.
Maybe it is wasp I am allergic to :hmm:
 
Might be what is sprayed on them or could be some substance that is naturally part of fruit skin. Unlikely to be the wasp as you'd have to eat huge amounts of figs to become sensitised to it.
 
Mark 11:12-14, 19-25
The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it.
When evening came, they went out of the city.
In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus, "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"
"Have faith in God," Jesus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, `Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins."

So think on.
 
Bloody hell - and that's the NEW testament.
I bet thousands of kids are subjected to analysing that tripe..

I know - what a load of fucking cobblers!

I bet jesus snuck out that night and injected weedkiller into the poor tree as it all sounds a little convenient. Trees just don't drop dead overnight.

These days he'd be doing televised tricks like being suspended in a glass box above Times Square or something equally stupid. :D
 
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