"And the person going home is... (long pause)...(longer pause)... blah blah blah

[editor]

How many more TV shows are we going to have with the same tired format?

Contestants banging on and on about how much they want it, how it "means everything" to them before seeing them in front of some judge theatrically employing ludicrously long pauses before telling them that they're staying on (cue: hysterical whoops of joys, manly hugging etc) or going home (cue: floods of tears, more hugging etc).

There seems to be an endless list of new shows using the same format - cooking, pop stars, designers, you name it - but surely they're going to use up all the pregnant pauses available soon?

 

[Stoat Boy]

Girls, Gays & Grannies.

Simple as that. Not sure if they still do premium number 'votes' but its a nice money spinner for the channels especially since it does not cost very much per hour to put out.

 

[Intastella]

They all irritate the fuck out of me

 

[LindaR]

So change channels. I don't watch Strictly, or X Factor. I sometimes watch MasterChef, but I switch over when they're faffing about.
Simples.

 

[London_Calling]

I've noticed this time around - when the Dream Dies - a different way of wiping away the phantom tear has become fashionable; no longer the Cheryl Cole flayed manicured/pedicured/painted/whateverthefuck finger to the inside corner of the eye - no dear, that's so last season, now we have the flayed manicured/pedicured/painted/whateverthefuck finger to the outer corner of the eye. You get a bit more flaying this way.

It's quite a big development in some circles.

 

[clicker]

It's when you can see the judge mentally counting to twenty that you know viewing figures need a boost....

 

[Intastella]

So change channels. I don't watch Strictly, or X Factor. I sometimes watch MasterChef, but I switch over when they're faffing about.
Simples.

I don't, for exactly that reason. Even left the MILs early tonight coz she had x-factor on. Makes me want to smash the telly up.

 

[twistedAM]

I'm watching Harper's Island...at least one person doesn't go home each episode and each time they die in a different way.

 

[editor]

I love the way rejected candidates on X Factor wail and blubber that they've lost their only chance to make it.

Here's an idea you fame hungry, lazy cunts: try doing what millions of performers have done before you and get off your whiny, pampered arses and get on the gig/club circuit and do some fucking work.

 

[Badger Kitten]

It's when you can see the judge mentally counting to twenty that you know viewing figures need a boost....

yeah Cheryl's uselessness tonight 'this doesn't feel right....can you hold on a minute...you're binned' crap made me very irritable. To put it mildly.

 

[Badger Kitten]

I love the way rejected candidates on X Factor wail and blubber that they've lost their only chance to make it.

Here's an idea you fame hungry, lazy cunts: try doing what millions of performers have done before you and get off your whiny, pampered arses and get on the gig/club circuit and do some fucking work.

''I'll have to go back to singing in pubs''.

yeah, like the fucking Beatles and everyone else did, you frizzy haired scarf-wearing arse.

 

[Geri]

Some of them have worked on the circuit to be fair - mostly the older ones though.

If they cared that much, they would go for it again next time. Last year's winner got kicked off in an earlier series.

 

[Looby]

I love the way rejected candidates on X Factor wail and blubber that they've lost their only chance to make it.

Here's an idea you fame hungry, lazy cunts: try doing what millions of performers have done before you and get off your whiny, pampered arses and get on the gig/club circuit and do some fucking work.

May I suggest the tv equivalent of put them on ignore ed?

 

[Badger Kitten]

Some of them have worked on the circuit to be fair - mostly the older ones though.

If they cared that much, they would go for it again next time. Last year's winner got kicked off in an earlier series.

One in four were previous reality TV attempters, which indicates to me that there is a small group of people who really do think that they are born to do this stuff and everyone else can sit back with a pizza and enjoy watching them fail and having their sparkling dreams stamped on, like a boot on a human face, over and over and over again, forever.

I'm sure this was what Orwell was thinking of, except he got it a bit wrong.

 

[Ted Striker]

I love the way rejected candidates on X Factor wail and blubber that they've lost their only chance to make it.

Here's an idea you fame hungry, lazy cunts: try doing what millions of performers have done before you and get off your whiny, pampered arses and get on the gig/club circuit and do some fucking work.

Quite. Perhaps they're crying as they were thinking that they were on the fringe of making it via that route, though the second they walked into the queue for the audition for x-f/BGT they signed a deal that forced them to pay 90% of any success - from the show directly or co-incedentally otherwise - for the next 5 years to the SYCO group.

Still, I'll say it's all nearly worth it for this. Good ol' Wogan



They even called the show Making Your Mind Up AND they bothered to the 1,2,3 simultaneous thing. A true youtube beauty!!!

 

[5t3IIa]

The eviction pause on Big Brother is 10 seconds. I counted.

1....2....3....4...
\

 

[London_Calling]

That's coke for you. All the Latimer old gals end up like that.

 

[5t3IIa]

A friend of mine swears blind he saw her masturbating on the stairs in Cafe de Paris way back when.

Honestly, that's what he says.

 

[London_Calling]

Prob just having trouble getting the stash out.

 

[TrippyLondoner]

How many more TV shows are we going to have with the same tired format?

Contestants banging on and on about how much they want it, how it "means everything" to them before seeing them in front of some judge theatrically employing ludicrously long pauses before telling them that they're staying on (cue: hysterical whoops of joys, manly hugging etc) or going home (cue: floods of tears, more hugging etc).

There seems to be an endless list of new shows using the same format - cooking, pop stars, designers, you name it - but surely they're going to use up all the pregnant pauses available soon?

The masterchef ones alright, never really bothered with the rest. Its all the same cheap programme making rubbish though. I can't believe people actually watch it, but they do.

 

[clicker]

Yes...I can handle the MasterChef one....as I've yet to see an ' almost but not not quite chef ' fall to his knees in a crumpled heap and cry into his egg stained apron.....

actually Cheryl tonight was exactly who I was thinking of when I posted...you could see her mentally count.....the chewed lip and furtive glances weren't enough for her tho....oh no, she had to go the whole bloody hog and nip out to comtemplate life behind a wafting net curtain....what the fuck was that about....get a grip woman.

 

[PacificOcean]

I can't say I am the world's biggest fan of X-Factor, but it seems to be the only thing keeping ITV afloat at the minute.

It gets a 50%-ish share every week, which means that half of all the country who is watching TV at that time, is watching X-Factor. Even Corrie only manages a 35%-ish share.

We may not like it, but it is popular.

 

[Pickman's model]

is that your final answer?

 

[souljacker]

I hate the fact that as soon as the 'result' is announced, they always play a bit of fucking Snow Patrol. Wankers.

 

[Schmetterling]

It's when you can see the judge mentally counting to twenty that you know viewing figures need a boost....

Cheryl Cole can count?

 

[emanymton]

I would imagine she's had extensive coaching in preparation.

 

[DotCommunist]

I only ever watch the x-factor end show where they bring back all the memorable rejected freaks and make them perform a song. P T Barnum would have approved.

 

[The Octagon]

Cheryl Cole can count?

Yep, she did a fair bit of mental calculation when she realised her husband slept around - "Hmm, technically I pretend to be a strong woman and should dump the fucker, but he earns a shedload more than me and we're so close to being the next Posh n Becks, what to do....?"