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Alternative Ibiza?

Stanley Edwards said:
I got bored of the countryside very quickly. I am in Santa Eularia - a compromise between city and dullness. Very nice here. I like it.

I have bought some magic beans to sew seeds of love in my beautiful mates heart. This cannot fail ;) I conferred with my beautiful friend Inma. She agreed it was a beautiful idea.

I don't stand a cat in hells chance here, but the flirting and charming is all good fun and harmless. Back to the countryside tomorrow to give gifts of seeds for a herb garden :)



Sewing the seeds........................
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Give it up mate. Love is a miserable lie.
 
Buckaroo said:
Give it up mate. Love is a miserable lie.
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What? :mad:

Apparently it is illegal to be an artist in Santa Eularia if the greedy, selfish, fuckwit from Optica La Mar calls police to move you on. Anyone with free phone stuff can call the wanker on 0034 339 312.

Do I care?

No. no, no. I'm off to San Carlos for some extremely beautiful company.

Love is everything Buckaroo. EVERYTHING!
 
Not sure where my head is at ATM! I was sleep walking around the town (Santa Eularia) last night. Woke up, or sort of came around whilst opening up a garage door :confused: "What the fuck am I doing and where am I?".

I then spent a few minutes in panic trying to get my bearings and remember where my backpack and coat was. Seriously disconcerting. All ended OK. Until the police fucked me up sketching.

I am totally head over heels with an 'out of bounds' person :( Seriously feel like a bessoted teenager :D I dunno, just think we could be a great team. It isn't going to happen, so I'm heading back to the smoke to get on with stuff.

Once upon a time, I earned lots of money. It made me feel incredibly insecure when it came to relationships. I am sort of scared about going back there!

My head is a fucking mess. Gonna drink wine and smoke MJ - that should sort it out ;)

Perhaps I need some sort of therapy?
 
I have received the best ever negative text message. I am tempted to post it here verbatum, but I won't. It is the sort of very effective, concise text message that would take me weeks to compose. Full of super sexy intelligence and empathy. The most harmless 'no thanks' I think I have ever received :) All this from a non-native English speaker. Carefully managed intelligence like that turns me on more than the very special looks she has on the outside. If I was just 10 years younger I would fancy my chances. As things are I am going to settle for a very special evening at the Cotton Beach Club.

Dammit! I am getting older. How do you stop it?

Reading it again now, it is so simple, but so kind and so very, very effective. How the fuck do people manage to make words work this way :confused:
 
Nice easy, lucrative day tomorrow. Marker pen mural directly onto a living room wall working from a postcard. Will photograph and post here.

Life is fucking well very pleasant ATM. Ibiza is being very kind. Shame I am never going to get into that girls knickers, or heart. A man can't have everything. Think I am setting my sights way too high!
 
Let the crazy season begin :)

"Hey, 'Stan', I am thinking about buying a Kilo of MDMA, but need someone to try it out first".

"I think I may know someone who can help you there if a couple of Grammes are on offer".

Pacha Flower Power evening. As much as I have a problem with credit card toting pretend hippies and the ultra beautiful, exclusive, elitist feel about this event, I have to admit it makes the town fucking beautiful for a night. I love the current fashion - romantic, flowing skirts and long hair with flowers.

I got fixated on handbags. As well as the Flower Power crowd I think a couple of cruise liners must have docked for the night. Everybody, everybody had a brand spanking new handbag. Probably bought on the ship, or at the duty free. I can tell you now that it is not a good idea for a big, munted scruffshyster to go up to foreign tourists asking questions about their handbags. It sort of makes them nervous. But, I was genuinely researching an idea.

My favourite handbag was very sparkly. Group of English girls doing England proud - by far the most stylish and the girl with the sparkly handbag had no problem showing it to me and talking about stuff. Good effort girls - you were all stunningly beautiful!

These gay guys who carry toy dogs in bags? Why not make your dog a bag?

®Bitchbags will be launched on Tuesday evening next week, or the week after. ®Bitchbags are brill. Actually, they may be called ®Bitchbags Ibiza to fit in with the branding thing.

Your dog wears a ®Bitchbag. It has a pocket for your iPod touch on the left. A pocket for your condoms, toothbrush and stuff on the right, a pack for clean undies on top and a secret pocket for stash in a secret place. Best of all they are covered with sparkly sequins and LED's that are sound activated to alert you when messages, or calls come to your iPod touch. They display flowers and hippy stuff in bright red and yellow. ®Bitchbags are fucking brill. They will be launched within the next couple of weeks on a Flower Power night. They have USB ports and a storage device. SD reader - all that shit. But, most importantly, they are sparkly - this is very important.

Some guys I was discussing the idea with last night did point out that perhaps clubs don't allow dogs in. I dunno. I think ®Bitchbag can provide kennels and care for a small fee.

I can confirm that the MDMA was indeed very pure and good. My mates first MDMA experience - he fucking well loved it :D

The World is still perfect even if my stomach is suffering cramps, my jaw is aching and I feel a bit sparked out.

Fuck. I am now enjoying this place for all the wrong reasons!

e2a; I am going to borrow my mates dog and dress her with a daisy chain around her head ;)
 
Johnny Vodka said:
Loads of people getting busted by undercover drugs cops in Ibiza at the mo, Stan. Be careful.
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We know all this. Apparently they are mascarding as club PR guys.

Fucking laugh a minute here. I love it. Anyone who thinks I am not actually going to dress my mates dog up and launch ®Bitchbag next Tuesday is very mistaken. I have already bought the sequins and LED's. Pretty sure a small email to the Flower Power PR team will help me buy the right stuff.

All the people arriving here now think they are the coolest dudes and chicks on the planet. Locals are appreciating my humour!

I sent a text to a friend last night. I was a bit worse for wear (my friends expect this), but in this case I hadn't communicated with her for almost Three years. I was trying to explain the ®Bitchbag concept, but it didn't really come across right by under the influence text messages (I will email her tomorrow). She is a very successful handbag designer and she has helped me loads in the past. I asked her a simple question: what is the correct length of a handbag strap for the fashion today? 80CM apparently. She replied promptly given that we haven't spoken for over Three years. I know how to get in there ;)

Fucking hell. It's just one big comedy show. I know it will all end in tears, but until then I am going to laugh and laugh and cough and puke and piss out of my arse and stuff like that :)

Not really, I'm staying healthy and looking forwards to highly valued company. Not everybody on this island is a stolen fashion victim. The Worlds most perfect woman is here.

Life is perfect!
 
Enough of that shit. I'm going back to drug and alcohol free 'Alternative Ibiza'. Myself and a mate are on a promise of keeping our shit together and doing a work out on the outdoor gym and a dip in the sea every morning. There are showers on the beaches also, so I'm going camping to save cash. Maybe just do a night a week at the very excellent Hostal/residencia Rota in Santa Eularia. I really like Santa Eularia. Shame I don't seem to make much money there and the police are very anti-artist.

I had forgotten just how hard the Ectasy come down can be. Especially after a couple of Grammes of pure crystal MDMA :D Good fun, but I think I just aged 10 years in Three days!

Time to prioritise health again. I am not nearly as young as I think I am.

Very much looking forwards to meeting Johnny Vodka Also looking forwards to the Spanish Urbanites meet at the end of September when I will be back in mainland Spain, but the highlight of my year is going to be treating the Worlds most perfect woman to a sunset a la carte at Cotton Beach Club and seeing the fantastic team there again. I am a very lucky man and risking spoiling all with too much 'stuffs' is a bit stupid.

Back on the wagon. Thread may go boring again!
 
2g of mandy between how many people, Stan? Hmm, I'll prob do that much in a week (coz it'll have stopped working by then), plus a few g of coke.
 
Johnny Vodka said:
2g of mandy between how many people, Stan? Hmm, I'll prob do that much in a week (coz it'll have stopped working by then), plus a few g of coke.
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Between Two, but I took the vast majority. As guines pig I wanted to be sure, because I am a responsible person. First time I've touched anything more than booze and MJ for years. Pretty much decided not to do anymore a very long time ago, and I would only partake very occassionally back then. Just that this sort of fell into my lap, and this is Ibiza! And, I was sort of looking for a bit of distraction fun without booze. Doubt very much if I will ever take anything more than MJ again. The comedown just isn't worth it these days. I'm still feeling a bit lethargic.

Met Three young army trainees AWOL the other day. They were asking for advice (they had run out of cash). Asking how they make money/get work. So, you head to a foreign country with no cash, no language skills and no idea what you're going to do when you get there. I didn't tell them they were idiots, but I was honest with them - go to San Antonio, or Playa de'n Bossa and sell drugs to English speaking tourists. You're on the run anyway, so unless you want to face the music you don't want to turn to authorities for help. Hopefully they turned to their families for help.

Getting bored of doing the same sketch now, but it sells and I want a couple of nights in the nice place in Santa Eularia. I met someone there last time I visited (met lots of people actually) who wrote about mr here. Felt oblidged to post a comment myself. The Two pieces pictured found very nice homes. Sketch is now framed up in Mexico, the painting is now in the bar featured. An interesting article in some ways, but you can't expect to write expertly about a subject you have no experience of. A couple of days strolling around town is not going to give you anywhere near a good idea of how things work. It varies from town to town for one thing. More than that; moving your pitch just a couple of Meters can make all the difference. Sometimes lots of people, or what appears to be a good movement of potential buyers will bring the exact opposite result - it is very easy to get 'lost in the crowd'.
 
The U75 poster formerly known as Chazegee has appeared! First Urbanite to find me in Ibiza, or at least the first to announce himself. I am off the hook work wise. Chazegee has bought me some cheap flipflops. Diadoras have finally hit the bin. We're off to buy beers and hit the beach. HOLIDAY!
 
Stanley Edwards said:
The U75 poster formerly known as Chazegee has appeared! First Urbanite to find me in Ibiza, or at least the first to announce himself. I am off the hook work wise. Chazegee has bought me some cheap flipflops. Diadoras have finally hit the bin. We're off to buy beers and hit the beach. HOLIDAY!
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Enjoy!!! :)
 
I am in an internet cafe listening to this...



Not sure where it came into my head from, but I am now remembering the lyrics to sing all day. Chazegee is making travel plans. He is an exceptionally good/bad man. Love him to bits, but he really shouldn't have sent big black momma to our hotel room! Not sure what we've been upto. Crazy couple of days. My mate who I introduced to MDMA last week has suddenly decided to come out :D He is now happily involved with an older man.

I sent out 4 emergency text messages yesterday. Thank you Elena for not just replying, but coming to my aid and saving my sanity.

Need to get back into the groove thing. A bit more routine and a lot less booze and drugs.

Señor Chazegee - you are my sort of saint. Have a good trip.
 
My feet are in serious pain. This is almighty sunburn. Sorry I let you go trusted Diadoras. This is agony :(

I am being a bit of an arsehole here currently. It is a love issue. Seriously lovely people are talking to me in seriously lovely ways and I am holding on to an impossible dream! Idiot. I always set my heights too high in these things. Perhaps I do it subconciously on purpose :hmm:

I know myself too well.

Thanks again Chazegee. This is seriously beautiful. Well done again!
https://soundcloud.com/karol-zelene/siberian-girl
 
I think I have invented a new, contemporary lepracy. I am actually hoping my feet fall off. This is more painful than broken ribs.

In the meantime, I am learning the lyrics to Sunshine Superman for my ®Bitchbag launch on Tuesday. This is going to go down so well. It will go viral and all that. Might make me Fifty quid if I'm lucky.

I am also about to email a link to this thread to the World's most perfect woman. She may ignore it. She may have already read it. She may order a hitman to kill me. Whatever, she needs to know she was the love interest for the basis of my next (never to be published) book.

I'm thinking about soaking my feet in natural yoghurt. It is cheap enough these days. Has to be worth a try?
 
Where am I? Why am I here? Whay day is it? etc etc etc. Think someone has been spiking my drinks. More precisely, they have laced my first drink with half of one of those little, round, lime green pills, and then followed up with the other half an hour, or Two later. Bastards :mad: These little lime green ones are well trippy.

I think 'Alternative Ibiza?' is the story of a scruffshyster artist who came to Ibiza looking for all things healthy, organic and fresh. Love and peace in an utopian setting with a heart set on wholsesome woman. Didn't take him long to fall into the sex, booze and drugs 'real Ibiza' lifestyle. I will get over it.

My feet have almost recovered. May have moaned too much to too many people. Everybody I meet keeps asking how my feet are whilst laughing to themselves :hmm:

Think I am in love with just Five women presently. Two of them actually talk to me! No - seriously, one of them even has an Audi. You have love a woman with a strong car.

Lots of days off due to visitors and blowing my feet to fucking pieces in the sun. Recovery mode. I am up €70 for the day and heading to the real 'alternative Ibiza' which is the bit of town where real people live all year round. It's Flower Power night again. I can't handle all the beautiful people this evening. I feel ugly as sin :)

Health recovery may have to wait until after I have met Johnny Vodka. May wait forever actually. I seem to have lost my incentive again.

I'm having fun, but it has all gone a bit crazy here now. People working extreme hours and getting stressed. Finding it very difficult to keep out of other peoples shit. People just seem to try and drag me into it.

Interesting BBQ to look forward to on Thursday. Children attending so, limited booze and no drugs. Don't know mum and dad that well, but they seem intriguing and it sounds a laugh. Swimming pool, loads of badly behaved kids and all that ex-pat stuff. Fun, fun, fun. Could be the encouragement I need to get back on track.
 
My feet came back badly :( Thought all was OK yesterday, but when I woke this morning they were swollen horribly and looking badly infected. Expensive chemist day. Going to try sketching this evening anyway, but looking after my feet comes first.

From a non-tourist POV it just manic work time now until the end of August. My business clients are far too busy to accommodate an artist - I'm relying on private commissions. The tourist crowd here presently have no time for art. My mate at Sunset Cafe starts work at 9am. Gets a 2 hour break after 10 hours, returns at 10pm often to continue until 4am. Not everyday, but very often that is how it is. My student friend wakes at 7am to start work at 8am to finish at 11pm. She somehow still has the energy to go out at night. Mostly 6 days a weeks, sometimes 7 days. This is very typical for this time of year anywhere in Spain. You make your cash now and relax in October.

One of the bonuses I have found in Ibiza is that gallery owners from all over Europe come here on a bit of a holiday and scouting mission. I have sold about Six pieces to gallery owners who have said they will want more if it sells. No doubt they will sell even when they've put a 500% mark-up on them. It has proved to be the place for contacts. Getting better feedback and connections here than I would paying to attend an exhibition fair.

It is hot and humid. My feet are shit. The cockroaches are the size of small birds. Nobody loves me. Very little cash left. But, I am still enjoying Ibiza very much.
 
A summary. Sorry that this thread didn't quite deliver the pics and revalations I was hoping for! Alternative Ibiza remains a mystery :)

Despite the mosquitoes, the giant roaches, having to deal with 30 summat teenagers, the humidity, the broken heart, the lack of home, the very sad deaths... the moans could be endless. I love it here and I am not really sure why (the drugs help obviously).

I get great support from the local business community. Everybody is very encouraging about my 'ideas'. It is a very 'give it a go' sort of place. I always have good cash in pocket. My new good friend has woken me up to the idea of wisdom above looks (not that she isn't beautiful - she is very beautiful, stunningly beautiful in a way that belies her years actually (and, she has an Audi ;))), but I was sort of wondering where I was fucking up until I met her! Thanks to Chazegee to waking me up to swimming in the sea despite my burned feet - I keep my socks on now. I could go on and on and on... in short; I am happier and more content than I can ever remember being. You can't really ask for anything more than that.

I am off to Barcelona soon, because investors have asked me to come and talk about a community project :) This is a project that means much to me. It is pretty much all I want to do with what remains of life. It is going to be huge work, almighty work, but I am up for it. I will relish the challenge. And, if they have asked me to come and talk... well, I'm almost there basically. It will take time, but it will happen. I am also looking forwards to seeing a very special friend, so I am saving cash for a bit of a holiday. Then to Granada for the U75 meet and to see my good friends (I am missing them), then, I think I am coming back here to make a home. I don't really know, but I love it here despite all the complications.

It ended up being another Stanley Edwards ME ME ME thread. Sorry :oops:

'Alternative Ibiza' fucking well delivered. Huge thanks to Suza for allowing me to invite myself :D and get the experience rolling.


Over and out. Pretty sure there is another book in here somewhere.

*Give me Two weeks and I will start an alternative Catalan coast sort of thread*.
 
You're not the first person to be seduced by Ibiza, Stan, perhaps to their surprise. :cool: Even if you disagree with some of the shit that goes on (like VIP culture), it inarguably has a certain vibe. My week in Ibiza every year is one of the few things in life I get properly excited about. And no matter how miserable the comedown when I return, it's tainted with a certain joy and a massive urge to return and do it all over again.

Have you read the book 'The White Isle'? It's an interesting history of Ibiza.
 
I need to publically thank Stan for the sketch he gave me. I plan to get it framed. Hope all is cool. :) I had trouble putting up with the heat and mosquitoes (genuinely nasty fuckers) for all of a week and that was as a tourist! I don't know if the mosquitoes are just a summer thing - never been bothered by them in September.
 
Johnny Vodka said:
I need to publically thank Stan for the sketch he gave me. I plan to get it framed. Hope all is cool. :) I had trouble putting up with the heat and mosquitoes (genuinely nasty fuckers) for all of a week and that was as a tourist! I don't know if the mosquitoes are just a summer thing - never been bothered by them in September.
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Is there to be (an eagerly awaited) trip report ?
 
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