18 years

[Elpenor]

As of today I’ve worked 18 years in my chosen profession of payroll

In that time, I’ve worked across multiple industries - social care, retail, engineering, law, public sector, healthcare, logistics, childcare, financial services and facilities management. Paying people from minimum wage up to those earning in excess of £1 million / year.

And I’ve only been told to “fuck off” once in all that time though I have also been accused of having a picture of an employee’s face on a dartboard after her pay was late twice in a month, and most memorably been called “a mickey mouse idiot” once!

I’d like to think I have helped a lot more people however, and being able to help people by explaining their payslip is one of the reasons I love the job.

I’ve done a rough guess and think I have worked on well over 2000 individual payrolls over the years, ranging from weekly, fortnightly and lunar to the far more typical monthly frequency, paying approx 900,000 people - almost all UK based except for a few people in Ireland, Jersey, Guernsey and the Isle of Man —though I can’t remember how their tax works anymore!

 

[Numbers]

N00b

 

[skyscraper101]

Congrats! You should definitely post this on LinkedIn too.

 

[kalmatthew]

Congrats! You should definitely post this on LinkedIn too.

Congratulations remember when posting on LinkedIn to include the story of how you fixed payroll for someone to save the day and how grateful they were!

 

[Leafster]

I'm feeling so old!

When I started as a trainee accountant one of my first jobs was a weekly visit the local Royal British Legion club to do their bookkeeping and run their payroll.

That was 39 years ago.

No software, just P11 cards to fill out manually with the help of tax table booklets.

 

[marty21]

My first adult job was in 1983 ffs I was an A Level Management Trainee at Lloyds Bank, I'd somehow decided that university wasn't for me - working in the bank made re-think my life choice. So I applied again and left the bank after a year (on the princely sum of around £3k a year)

My chosen profession 40 years later appears to be Housing Management, mostly in Local Authorities - but I haven't quite made my mind up if this is the career for me but it has basically been my 'profession' since 1995.

 

[Elpenor]

Congrats! You should definitely post this on LinkedIn too.

Luckily I don’t have an account

 

[Winot]

30 years this year for me in my profession, with only two jobs (1993-1999; 1999-present).

 

[Elpenor]

I'm feeling so old!

When I started as a trainee accountant one of my first jobs was a weekly visit the local Royal British Legion club to do their bookkeeping and run their payroll.

That was 39 years ago.

No software, just P11 cards to fill out manually with the help of tax table booklets.

I don’t quite go back that far, but I remember when I began some filing was still done manually, though it was becoming the exception

 

[A380]

Pity you didn't start a bit earlier when payrolls were done by cash and the wages clerk and finace director would walk back from the bank once a week with 2000 peoples pay in a portmanteau...

 

[Lord Camomile]

I hit 15 years at my current place last Friday. I've been meaning to leave since 2010

It is interesting to look back and think what you've contributed to, in both the smaller and larger perspectives.

 

[Elpenor]

Pity you didn't start a bit earlier when payrolls were done by cash and the wages clerk and finace director would walk back from the bank once a week with 2000 peoples pay in a portmanteau...

I have used systems which had coin analysis reports which were used to order the right amount of currency.

Not too sad to have missed out on any armed robberies though!

 

[starfish]

Im about 27 years in mine in Credit Control and still not sure if i like it or not. Cant begin to imagine the millions i must have collected over the years.

 

[[62]]

22 years in the job that was going to tide me over until I got something better. Apart from a few years of temporary promotion ages ago now - go-getter that I am - I'm still at the same (lowest) grade too.

Can't deny that things have changed massively and for the better. When I turned up that first week in 2001, I spent days on end inputting tedious data into a computer terminal that was already around 15 years old and clock-watching until we were allowed to go for lunch or finish for the day. Now I'm twatting about on the internet at home.

 

[platinumsage]

My payroll anecdote is when the payroll person for the factory I worked in fucked up the BACS stuff so nothing would go to our accounts on payday, and the general manager went to the bank on that Friday morning to get cash for us, and gave us the afternoon off to go to our banks and pay it in.

 

[pseudonarcissus]

Pity you didn't start a bit earlier when payrolls were done by cash and the wages clerk and finace director would walk back from the bank once a week with 2000 peoples pay in a portmanteau...

My first job paid cash on a Thursday in a brown envelope. At one stage there was a strike, but as an apprentice I was not involved as it was an “adult” dispute. I had to go to a bank to change the £20 notes to something smaller as only scabs had 20s in the strike.

 

[pbsmooth]

20 years next year for me... a few changes and promotions but a lot still the same. most years I think i really should do something else before it's too late but easier said than done!

 

[ouirdeaux]

I have used systems which had coin analysis reports which were used to order the right amount of currency.

A line from an early draft of the Tears in Rain monologue.

 

[Silas Loom]

Im about 27 years in mine in Credit Control and still not sure if i like it or not. Cant begin to imagine the millions i must have collected over the years.

Do you think that chased invoices are paid more quickly, or is the main benefit of your function simply that businesses know when and whether outstanding invoices will be settled, so the forward cash position is easier to forecast?

Personally, I know pretty much when I will pay creditors, which is usually to term, but sometimes unavoidably not, and I only take chasing emails seriously when they come from the person with whom I have the overall business relationship. I do always respond to ones from humans with a planned payment date, though. Anything automated from Xero gets ignored.

 

[farmerbarleymow]

My payroll anecdote is when the payroll person for the factory I worked in fucked up the BACS stuff so nothing would go to our accounts on payday, and the general manager went to the bank on that Friday morning to get cash for us, and gave us the afternoon off to go to our banks and pay it in.

Similar here - they fucked up the pay run so we all had to collect our weekly wages in cash from the warehouse office on payday afternoon. Good job the news wasn't leaked as it was in a dodgy area so muggers could have made a fortune robbing people leaving work that day.

 

[starfish]

Do you think that chased invoices are paid more quickly, or is the main benefit of your function simply that businesses know when and whether outstanding invoices will be settled, so the forward cash position is easier to forecast?

Personally, I know pretty much when I will pay creditors, which is usually to term, but sometimes unavoidably not, and I only take chasing emails seriously when they come from the person with whom I have the overall business relationship. I do always respond to ones from humans with a planned payment date, though. Anything automated from Xero gets ignored.

I tend to only chase once its overdue as i "trust" our clients to pay on time. Reminders are sent to largest clients mostly just to confirm if any issues. On the whole it depends on client base. As long as payments are within terms though youre not likely to hear from me.

 

[Elpenor]

Similar here - they fucked up the pay run so we all had to collect our weekly wages in cash from the warehouse office on payday afternoon. Good job the news wasn't leaked as it was in a dodgy area so muggers could have made a fortune robbing people leaving work that day.

Never paid anyone a day late, once did it a day early which was less of a problem

 

[Elpenor]

Anyway I bought in some snacks for my colleagues as I don’t really give a shit about my birthday and I really like where I work and pretty much everyone I work with

Looking forward to the next 18 years or so

 

[bellaozzydog]

32 adult years and never had a proper adult job

 

[Puddy_Tat]

happy anniversary.

hmm. I've been broadly in the same line of work (although different aspects of it, with quite a few different employers, and with occasional short lapses in to doing something else) for 33 years now (and - it's 37 years since i started work) and have been a member of my professional body (woo) for 30 years come next month.

i can't remember the exact date i started so not something i've celebrated.

wages on the buses are (apart from being computerised) less complicated than they used to be - on a lot of operators, apart from pay increments at something like 1 and 2 years' service, there were a range of 'unsocial hours' allowances, so something like work before 6 am or after 9 pm was time and a quarter, sundays were time and a half, then there would be further enhancements for overtime / rest days, then additional allowances if 'time on duty' or 'spreadover' (time from start to finish of day's work including all breaks) is over a certain time, then bonus schemes and so on.

one of my colleagues was of the opinion it was intentionally complicated so that nobody would know if they got the right pay or not

very niche, but there was a discussion about how wages used to be dealt with on the railways in the days of cash wages on 'rail forums' here a few months ago - including how wages were got to people working in remote locations, and attempted wage robberies and so on.

 

[Elpenor]

happy anniversary.

hmm. I've been broadly in the same line of work (although different aspects of it, with quite a few different employers, and with occasional short lapses in to doing something else) for 33 years now (and - it's 37 years since i started work) and have been a member of my professional body (woo) for 30 years come next month.

i can't remember the exact date i started so not something i've celebrated.

wages on the buses are (apart from being computerised) less complicated than they used to be - on a lot of operators, apart from pay increments at something like 1 and 2 years' service, there were a range of 'unsocial hours' allowances, so something like work before 6 am or after 9 pm was time and a quarter, sundays were time and a half, then there would be further enhancements for overtime / rest days, then additional allowances if 'time on duty' or 'spreadover' (time from start to finish of day's work including all breaks) is over a certain time, then bonus schemes and so on.

one of my colleagues was of the opinion it was intentionally complicated so that nobody would know if they got the right pay or not

very niche, but there was a discussion about how wages used to be dealt with on the railways in the days of cash wages on 'rail forums' here a few months ago - including how wages were got to people working in remote locations, and attempted wage robberies and so on.

Thank you and I really enjoyed reading that link. Some interesting stories, a few of the things they discuss I was aware of, as covered in the course I did around 10 year ago.

I’ve only done a little bit of railway related payroll (working for a well known manufacturer of trains who have a big factory up north and run some maintenance depots) and enjoyed that, would have liked to have done more I think.

 

[Sue]

32 adult years and never had a proper adult job

Not sure we want to know about the improper adult jobs...

 

[kalmatthew]

happy anniversary.

hmm. I've been broadly in the same line of work (although different aspects of it, with quite a few different employers, and with occasional short lapses in to doing something else) for 33 years now (and - it's 37 years since i started work) and have been a member of my professional body (woo) for 30 years come next month.

i can't remember the exact date i started so not something i've celebrated.

wages on the buses are (apart from being computerised) less complicated than they used to be - on a lot of operators, apart from pay increments at something like 1 and 2 years' service, there were a range of 'unsocial hours' allowances, so something like work before 6 am or after 9 pm was time and a quarter, sundays were time and a half, then there would be further enhancements for overtime / rest days, then additional allowances if 'time on duty' or 'spreadover' (time from start to finish of day's work including all breaks) is over a certain time, then bonus schemes and so on.

one of my colleagues was of the opinion it was intentionally complicated so that nobody would know if they got the right pay or not

very niche, but there was a discussion about how wages used to be dealt with on the railways in the days of cash wages on 'rail forums' here a few months ago - including how wages were got to people working in remote locations, and attempted wage robberies and so on.

That was really intresting, thanks for the link.

 

[tony.c]

muggers could have made a fortune robbing people leaving work

When I first worked at Royal Mail (it was the Post Office then) wages were paid on a Friday in cash in brown envelopes which you had to queue up for at a counter. During the Christmas period staff were sometimes robbed in the car park by criminals who knew they would have bigger payments with the Xmas overtime.

 

[A380]

When I first worked at Royal Mail (it was the Post Office then) wages were paid on a Friday in cash in brown envelopes which you had to queue up for at a counter. During the Christmas period staff were sometimes robbed in the car park by criminals who knew they would have all the money and vouchers out of the Christmas cards.

FTFY.