Worst British Filum of all time ?

[butcher]

 

[not-bono-ever]

this. suppsoed to be in Spain or somewhere, all filmed in an elstree hangar. oh yes, it has a revolution in it. and Swarthy lotharios. terrible.

 

[sim667]

 

[killer b]

oh, i thought dog soldiers wasn't so bad in the main. they should never have shown the wolves, mind.

 

[mwgdrwg]

The Inbetweeners Movie

 

[Gromit]

oh, i thought dog soldiers wasn't so bad in the main. they should never have shown the wolves, mind.

The profit as a percentage of cost was huge for a British film.

Cost peanuts but did okay in the cinema instead of straight to video like most films of that budget.

 

[cypher79]

Dog Soldiers was alright I thought, certainly not the worst uk film by a long way. And doesn't it generally get regarded as a british 'cult classic'?

 

[DotCommunist]

dog soldiers was great 'I hope I give you the fucking shits'

 

[8den]

oh, i thought dog soldiers wasn't so bad in the main. they should never have shown the wolves, mind.

Really if you think Dog Soldiers is the worst british film of all time, you live a naive sheltered life and I envy you.

 

[killer b]

Good job I don't then. That was sim668

 

[DaveCinzano]

I know I have mentioned it once or twice - but from a public health point of view, you need to be forewarned: Kung Fu Flid AKA Unarmed But Dangerous.

Here's the trailer:



Here's a particularly awful scene (the 'action' towards the end of it must been seen to be believed):

 

[DaveCinzano]

Here's one that I haven't thought about in a long time - Beyond Bedlam.

First five named actors:

• Craig Fairbrass
• Liz Hurley
• Keith Allen
• Anita Dobson
• Jesse Birdsall

Think that gives an idea of the quality to expect in this 1994 Vadim Jean meisterwerk (after Leon The Pig Farmer, before Clockwork Mice). And based on a novel by (sadly now departed) 2000AD scribe John Brosnan, for shame.

 

[danny la rouge]

The Italian Job. No idea why it's so revered; everything about it is terrible.

 

[Casually Red]

The Guard is Irish but it deserves an honourable mention for services to weakness in a film.

it was beyond shite

 

[Casually Red]

The Italian Job. No idea why it's so revered; everything about it is terrible.

cant believe you said that. Its worth it for the opening scene alone, and camp freddy

 

[Casually Red]

And I agree with Frances...you're wrong about The Guard, 8115.

I really wanted the guard to be good but it was utterly dire. It had loads of good actors in it but it was just terrible, the worst ive ever seen gleason do. After the first 20 minutes id just stopped caring .

the 2 worst British films ive seen so far are Malice in Wonderland...A danny Dyer take on Alice in Wonderland that i just couldnt physically deal with after 20 minutes . And Carry On Emmanuelle...i think that one actually damaged me emotionally.

 

[Casually Red]

They only went and made a sequel!!!!

ill raise your sequel with green street 3

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2628316/

 

[Bernie Gunther]

oh god, did anyone else see this embarassing piece of shit? features a brief appearance by trigger from only fools and horses and a pervert...

I was at the première, god help me ...

Some friends were in it, latex-clad extras in the club scenes etc.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Two from me

sub par gangster flick that Danny Dyer wouldn't grace.

Turbo Terry and chums are aboard for the Bonded By Blood-like Rise Of The Footsoldier sequel

 

[DaveCinzano]

oh god, did anyone else see this embarassing piece of shit? features a brief appearance by trigger from only fools and horses and a pervert...

Ah yes, I got that (but haven't watched it) on the grounds that Julie Graham was in it. I see now that it was directed by Stuart Urban - immediately after Our Friends In The North!

From a quick scan through, has the feel of a 90s Mary Millington-type crossover softcore farce.

 

[Epona]

Can you please just stop saying 'filum'? It's really quite annoying.

 

[Johnny Canuck3]

I think I want to see this.

It's as if a butler became a werewolf.

 

[Ponyutd]

*Tank Malling.
Ray Winstone rushed this out years ago when he was on the verge of bankruptcy. When he found his feet financially he must have bought every copy ever made. Not on the Internet any where. Atrocious is a word that nearly gets to this dog shit of a film.
I saw it years ago and it still hurts talking about it.
Jamie Winstone should be held hostage till her father apologises personally to anyone who ever watched it.



*Shudders

 

[Ponyutd]

I have just found this, and this is one of the more gentle reviews.

"Other movies have been as incompetently scripted, crudely directed and badly acted; but, in view of the way Tank Malling combines all these qualities with grotesque sexism, gratuitous violence and subnormal intelligence, there can be little doubt that this marks an all-time-low in cinema."


This is the worst film of all time.

 

[Orang Utan]

Has anyone seen Outlaw?

 

[Maurice Picarda]

The Inbetweeners Movie

It was as poor a relation to the final series as that was to the second, and as the second was to the first, but that doesn't make it a notably bad film, just not a recommendable one.

 

[DaveCinzano]

Has anyone seen Outlaw?

The Nick Love vigilante film? Yes.

 

[Orang Utan]

The Nick Love vigilante film? Yes.

Aye, it was on telly last night, but I switched over cos Berberian Sound Studio was on.
Wish I'd watched Outlaw instead. Seen it before but it's reliably cruddy.
Have you heard the DVD commentary? It was on YouTube.
Love and Dyer clearly changged out of their tiny minds and getting carried away, canting and facking constantly, and comparing the film to Taxi Driver

 

[Sirena]

I was at the première, god help me ...

Some friends were in it, latex-clad extras in the club scenes etc.

I think I was there too. Was the premiere just off Piccadilly Circus?

 

[DaveCinzano]

Aye, it was on telly last night, but I switched over cos Berberian Sound Studio was on.
Wish I'd watched Outlaw instead. Seen it before but it's reliably cruddy.
Have you heard the DVD commentary? It was on YouTube.
Love and Dyer clearly changged out of their tiny minds and getting carried away, canting and facking constantly, and comparing the film to Taxi Driver

It's been some years but yes, I remember the extras, not just the commentary track but also some making of videos etc. Lots of embittered lad chatter from Love mainly, and Dyer trying to match him, IIRC. Quite sad because at that point Dyer hadn't quite gone down the 'gotta put bread on the table' six-straight-to-DVD-movies-a-year rabbithole, and was still making interesting choices.