Your Terrible Christmas Film Recommendations

[Voley]

I think this Netflix Xmas offering might be the hit of the season.



Synopsis:

A widow still coping with the loss of her husband, has found solace in her art, creating ice sculptures as a way to channel her emotions. As Christmas approaches, she carves a snowman, pouring her heart into the piece. Thanks to a mystical scarf, this snowman unexpectedly comes to life, with the innocence, wonder, and charm of a winter creature experiencing the world for the first time. Plus he's hot, has the mind of a newborn and wanders round with his top off a lot.

Can anyone surpass this cinematic marvel?

 

[MickiQ]

We started watching that a few weeks ago, we're both massive suckers3 for Xmas romcoms but after about 20 mins we decided we just couldn't finish it.

 

[Voley]

How could a film about the love that blossoms between a woman and a fucking snowman be anything but awesome.

 

[Looby]

I know it seems like an odd line to draw but I can’t cope with anything involving magic snowglobes or snowmen coming to life.

 

[wtfftw]

It's on my watch list.

I'd also recommend Red One for silly Christmas action.

ETA: I know Red One is an actual cinema release but it's pretty bad.

 

[Saffy]

Reporting for duty!

I saw a really long trailer for this just this morning.

 

[pesh]

After ditching her Tinder date on Christmas Eve, record store owner Tori finds herself stuck with her employee Robbie for the night. But the night is still young. When the co-workers visit some friends in the neighbourhood, bent on binge-drinking and having fun, instead, they cross paths with Robo-Santa: an animatronic, military-grade killing machine. And as the malfunctioning unit embarks on a rampant killing spree in the town's snow-covered streets, Tori and Robbie must face a bloody battle against the odds and the electronic, axe-wielding Father Christmas.

 

[Sue]

I think this Netflix Xmas offering might be the hit of the season.

View attachment 452052

Synopsis:

A widow still coping with the loss of her husband, has found solace in her art, creating ice sculptures as a way to channel her emotions. As Christmas approaches, she carves a snowman, pouring her heart into the piece. Thanks to a mystical scarf, this snowman unexpectedly comes to life, with the innocence, wonder, and charm of a winter creature experiencing the world for the first time. Plus he's hot, has the mind of a newborn and wanders round with his top off a lot.

Can anyone surpass this cinematic marvel?

'It took a snowman to melt her heart.' Well that and a mystical scarf.

I wonder how much people get paid to write this shit and how I get a piece of the action.

 

[Sue]

I know it seems like an odd line to draw but I can’t cope with anything involving magic snowglobes or snowmen coming to life.

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

(And yes, I have a cold, cold block of ice where my heart should be. )

 

[Sue]

View attachment 452058
After ditching her Tinder date on Christmas Eve, record store owner Tori finds herself stuck with her employee Robbie for the night. But the night is still young. When the co-workers visit some friends in the neighbourhood, bent on binge-drinking and having fun, instead, they cross paths with Robo-Santa: an animatronic, military-grade killing machine. And as the malfunctioning unit embarks on a rampant killing spree in the town's snow-covered streets, Tori and Robbie must face a bloody battle against the odds and the electronic, axe-wielding Father Christmas.

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

 

[Silas Loom]

I draw the line in general at anything that's 'life affirming' or heart warming'.

This. Every fucking time. And “bittersweet”. And “tender”.

 

[wtfftw]

Are you trying to say you don't like emotive music and soft focus christmas miracles?

 

[Sue]

Are you trying to say you don't like emotive music and soft focus christmas miracles?

Yes, yes I am.

 

[Silas Loom]

“Inspiring” can fuck off as well, although that’s mainly reserved for documentaries.

 

[petee]

This. Every fucking time. And “bittersweet”. And “tender”.

and "wise" and "knowing".

 

[Silas Loom]

and "wise" and "knowing".

“Humane” means all of the above, but dull to boot.

 

[A380]

So , I’m assuming that along with scarf and a couple of pieces of coal the female protagonist used two carrots in the construction of Frosty? Or is it not that kind of a film?

 

[Orang Utan]

Watching this later today:

“A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.”

 

[Voley]

Watching this later today:
View attachment 452113
“A burglar falls for an heiress as she dies in his arms. When he learns that he has the gift of reincarnation, he sets out to save her.”

Woah. That sounds really special.

 

[Voley]

We're watching Hot Frosty this afternoon btw. Will report back.

 

[DotCommunist]

Someone has to watch one of the Kevin Sorbo xmas films for the team. In this one he's a reluctant scrooge turned santa whose real name is 'Drake Hunter'. I bet its fucking awful

The Santa Suit (TV Movie 2010) ⭐ 6.5 | Adventure, Comedy, Family

1h 29m | TV-G

www.imdb.com

 

[DotCommunist]

Ross Kemp is a good scrooge in a 2000 adapt of Christmas carol. Its set in the present day (or 2000) and he's a loan shark sort. One for the collectors maybe but I recall it fondly

 

[quimcunx]

A couple of years ago I had, I think, covid and used my sofa time to watch all but maybe 2 Christmas films on Netflix. It was great.

If i had one criticism some of the plots/themes were a teeny tiny bit repetitive.

 

[MickiQ]

Someone has to watch one of the Kevin Sorbo xmas films for the team. In this one he's a reluctant scrooge turned santa whose real name is 'Drake Hunter'. I bet its fucking awful

The Santa Suit (TV Movie 2010) ⭐ 6.5 | Adventure, Comedy, Family

1h 29m | TV-G

www.imdb.com

Seen that it's not great but it's not totally terrible either. It's a strictly by the numbers Xmas romcom in which cold-hearted financier learns the true meaning of Xmas and finds True Love with the woman who runs the homeless Xmas shelter.
I get that if an Urb had written the story he would have failed to learn anything and would have ended up in the gutter as a penniless bum.

 

[chilango]

Christmas Party activity, trust me:

Put "Hot Frosty" on. Mute it. If you can, change the display to grey scale. Play The Cure's Songs of a Lost World.

 

[Sue]

A couple of years ago I had, I think, covid and used my sofa time to watch all but maybe 2 Christmas films on Netflix. It was great.

If i had one criticism some of the plots were a teeny tiny bit repetitive.

Successful but uptight big city lawyer (other professions also available) finds her/himself in a small town, possibly with nefarious plans to build an evil shopping mall. S/he initially scorns the lovable, if slightly cooky, natives because they go all out for Christmas and are just darn decent types.

Then they meet a hot local lumberjack/doctor/schoolteacher who helps them discover The True Meaning of Christmas.

 

[wtfftw]

I need to get the christmas booze in and then will do a bingo related drinking game

Cozy up for Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie Bingo

Play Hallmark Christmas movie bingo this holiday season. Get free downloadable bingo cards to play while binge-watching your favorite Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.

ideas.hallmark.com

 

[Saffy]

Successful but uptight big city lawyer (other professionals also available) finds her/himself in a small town, possibly with nefarious plans to build an evil shopping mall. S/he initially scorns the lovable, if slightly cooky, natives because they go all out for Christmas and are just darn decent types.

Then they meet a hot local lumberjack/doctor/schoolteacher who helps them discover The True Meaning of Christmas.

She breaks down in the snow and is saved by the Christmas tree farmer whose farm is at risk by the big shopping mall wanting his land!

 

[Saffy]

I need to get the christmas booze in and then will do a bingo related drinking game

Cozy up for Hallmark Channel Christmas Movie Bingo

Play Hallmark Christmas movie bingo this holiday season. Get free downloadable bingo cards to play while binge-watching your favorite Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel.

ideas.hallmark.com

OK this is awesome. Do we need a watch along on urban?

 

[wtfftw]

OK this is awesome. Do we need a watch along on urban?

I would.