Why do people insist on showing you their apple products?

[ska invita]

apple products are fucking brilliant thats why

 

[Ax^]

Pfft no apples were harmed in the making of that cider

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

We've all been there. You're down the pub or in the office, some breeder has got a new loin spawn and, before you know it, there they are - showing you it, shoving into your hands with strident imprecations to touch it, to look at it, to hear all about its wonderful features and how it makes them feel complete.

What is that about? Why does everybody with an baby insist on "letting" you play with it? A child isn't something that is LIFE AFFIRMING any more. "I got it for fill the void and keep my wandering partner tied down, so I can speak to my family". Eh? I had a phone I never used to call them on in 2003! "I can update facebook and instagram and update all my friends about them!" "They're so easy to look after, slept all night". What?!?

Seriously, get over yourselves. If I make my face into a kind of semi-sneering expression when you ask me if I want to look at it, then it means I don't.

This must be how people feel when I talk to them about my computers.

 

[magneze]

Maybe lose the last 3 words of your post?

*ducks*

 

[T & P]

 

[editor]

This is the only Apple product worth talking about.

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

yet you spend an inordinate amount of time doing just that... why???

 

[editor]

yet you spend an inordinate amount of time doing just that... why???

What took an "inordinate amount of time" Garf?

 

[SheWolf]

I have to be honest here. As much as I love my iPhone (4s btw ), it's the only apple product I've ever owned and I don't fancy getting the new iPhone 5. Not keen on the lack of innovation and not keen on apple's ethics.

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

What took an "inordinate amount of time" Garf?

do you live in some kind of parallel quantum universe where conversations don't happen in liner fashion???

you said the only apples worth talking about and illustrated the apples you were referring to with an image...

I commented afterwards in linear earth time as happens in what we call round these parts, conversations...

yet you spend an inordinate amount of time doing just that.

which in our linear earth time would infer that you spend a proportion of time, which some may feel is a lot, talking about apples other than those of which you'd previously mentioned were the only ones worth talking about...

why don't you make some nasty, sneering anti dyslexic comment about my being incomprehensible again and then eff off when you're show up as always now eh...

 

[T & P]

I have to be honest here. As much as I love my iPhone (4s btw ), it's the only apple product I've ever owned and I don't fancy getting the new iPhone 5. Not keen on the lack of innovation and not keen on apple's ethics.

I think you should reconsider. Look at what you're missing by not upgrading

 

[Ax^]

Oh jesus I'm converted

*pre order's*

*grow's ironic beard*

 

[SheWolf]

I think you should reconsider. Look at what you're missing by not upgrading

I actually want a new phone that looks like a new phone I like the Galaxy S range, but I'm happy with what I've got at the moment.

 

[likesfish]

People still like playing with my ipad

 

[keybored]

Yes, it's really a bit strange. My apple fan friend says that when an apple product person sitting in a cafe or similar place sees another apple person, they give each other a happy smile.
Not that I have anything against smiling but just because someone has an apple??

You can't possibly understand until you start using Apple products. You're not just buying electronics, you're buying into a way of life that is almost religion-like, complete with its own deity.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Yeah, long gone are the days when you pulled out a smart phone they were something unusual enough that people wanted to look at it.

It's got to the point where my five year old motorola flippy phone with nothing more complicated on it than a 0.8MP camera has become a thing of wonder.

I spend far too much time on the internet as it is, I dread to think what would happen if I could carry it around with me everywhere.

 

[friedaweed]

On the I-pad front...
Is it true you can just wipe them down after you've popped your vinegars on them?

I find keyboards clog up after about six months of porn viewing.

Being wipe clean must make them a must for obsessive wankers non?

 

[Firky]

I haven't. Maybe it's a down south thing but people I know don't show off their mobiles/gadgets, etc. I don't know many office workers though.

Nor me. I'd probably feign interest in it so I could accidently drop it however.

 

[SpookyFrank]

A mate was telling me the other day how the new Ipad can display more colours than the human eye is capable of perceiving.

And what, I asked, the fuck is that point of that? So you can wave your new toy in people's faces and explain to them that they are biochemically incapable of comprehending how awesome it is? What are they gonna do for the next model, some kind of hitch hitker's guide to the galaxy mark II thing that exists in all possible dimensions simultaneously? Something with so much computing power that it becomes self aware, calculates to infinite decimal places the sheer futility of all existence and self-destructs in a storm of bitterness and regret within 0.0000001 seconds of your turning it on?

If they want to pull off something truly incredible they should design an Ipad that you can own without instantly becoming a massive cunt.

 

[SpookyFrank]

Took me a second but

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Sometimes this board is like going back in time. HELLO! It's 2012! There is nothing unusual about owning an iPhone! It doesn't mean you are a "hipster"! Loads and loads of people have iPhones and it's been like that for years!

I half expect somebody to go on a rant about that Starbucks and their funny-sounding coffees, now. I just want a cup of coffee and they won't serve me one ooh no it has to be a mochafrappylatté. And that Big Brother, eh? What's that about?

 

[Sweet Meiga]

You can't possibly understand until you start using Apple products. You're not just buying electronics, you're buying into a way of life that is almost religion-like, complete with its own deity.

Yes, I know it's a cult. I have always been a bit of a heretic though

 

[FridgeMagnet]

Yes, it's really a bit strange. My apple fan friend says that when an apple product person sitting in a cafe or similar place sees another apple person, they give each other a happy smile.
Not that I have anything against smiling but just because someone has an apple??

That's not true either.

 

[Sweet Meiga]

Sometimes this board is like going back in time. HELLO! It's 2012! There is nothing unusual about owning an iPhone! It doesn't mean you are a "hipster"! Loads and loads of people have iPhones and it's been like that for years!

I half expect somebody to go on a rant about that Starbucks and their funny-sounding coffees, now. I just want a cup of coffee and they won't serve me one ooh no it has to be a mochafrappylatté. And that Big Brother, eh? What's that about?

Of course loads of people have them. Which makes fussing about it even stranger.

 

[friedaweed]

May I take this opportunity to start the conspiracy theory bollocks before someone else does please?

 

[Ax^]

Sometimes this board is like going back in time. HELLO! It's 2012! There is nothing unusual about owning an iPhone! It doesn't mean you are a "hipster"! Loads and loads of people have iPhones and it's been like that for years!

I half expect somebody to go on a rant about that Starbucks and their funny-sounding coffees, now. I just want a cup of coffee and they won't serve me one ooh no it has to be a mochafrappylatté. And that Big Brother, eh? What's that about?

Pfft if this was a thread about macbooks then starbuck shitty coffee would of got a mention



*shakes fist at sky*

 

[editor]

why don't you make some nasty, sneering anti dyslexic comment about my being incomprehensible again and then eff off when you're show up as always now eh...

Poor old oppressed Garf.
Cruelly victimised again through the medium of, err, um, fuck knows what.

 

[isvicthere?]

We've all been there. You're down the pub or in the office, some munchkin has got a new apple product and, before you know it, there they are - showing you it, shoving into your hands with strident imprecations to touch it, to look at it, to hear all about its wonderful features and how it makes them feel complete.

What is that about? Why does everybody with an iPad insist on "letting" you play with it? A tablet isn't something that is FROM THE FUTURE any more. "I got it for face time, so I can speak to my family". Eh? I had a phone with video calling on it in 2003! "I can update documents and then send them by e-mail!" "The keyboard is very easy to type on". What?!?

Seriously, get over yourselves. If I make my face into a kind of semi-sneering expression when you ask me if I want to look at it, then it means I don't.

This must be how people feel when I talk to them about my kids.

It seems to me this sort of thing may have started at the very end of the 80s and early 90s, when satellite TV came in. There was an "early adopter" in my local, and whenever he talked about it, it was as if he was a Sky salesman, rather than just a customer.

 

[Firky]

What took an "inordinate amount of time" Garf?

Took him a while to spell inordinate.

(compulsory "anti-dyslexic" remark)

 

[GarfieldLeChat]

Poor old oppressed Garf.
Cruelly victimised again through the medium of, err, um, fuck knows what.

keeping it civilised in the tech forums as usual I see... maybe we should ask the mods if they want to introduce a rule about this... well done...