PM Boris Johnson - monster thread for a monster twat

[scalyboy]

Yeah, I definitely want johnson to get 100 nominations and then the job. With him it goes from utter chaos to meta chaos, comedy chaos, chaos on stilts on chaotic steroids. I don't think the tory party will split, it just stays there filling one of the positions in the fptp system. But johnson back in power and facing the standards committee edges towards there being small factions splitting off etc. There will also be individual tory MPs losing the whip as they defy his 3 line whips.

And if he does get the job and stays in post for the next two years, there's bound to be more scandals, whether financial impropriety, law-breaking, contempt for decency and standards, or sexual shenanigans, or all four - we know he's unable to keep it in his pants and finds it somehow impossible to wear a condom; the loathsome Etonian satyr is so narcissistic and arrogant that he believes he can get away with anything - and being reinstated would further encourage him in that belief.

Except this time there will be more enemies and critics keeping a close eye on everything he does.

 

[scalyboy]

But no clocking out one, save barges taking former former people to a necropolis

That conjures up a superb image - a C19th / early C20th painting - Caspar David Friedrich-style Isle of the Dead, or Whistler-style misty/foggy Thames, as the barges of the damned transport the condemned, first to Penguin Island to meet their judgement, and then to the necropolis and a mass burial.

 

[Lurdan]

The fucking state of this...

View attachment 348337

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[brogdale]

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absolutely fucked

 

[Tanya1982]

I can only wonder which lucky place will get the next of BJ's fantasy bridges. Perhaps it's time for one from Cornwall to Manhattan, to reduce the risk of the Lib Dems retaking the south west.

 

[Pickman's model]

absolutely fucked

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"I could have been a contender"

 

[Pickman's model]

I can only which lucky place will get the next of BJ's fantasy bridges. Perhaps it's time for one from Cornwall to Manhattan, so the Lib Dems don't take the south west.

The grytviken-buenos aires proletarian friendship bridge, the most ambitious engineering project of the twenty-first century

 

[Tanya1982]

It's possible we are limiting ourselves by hemispheres. Why not a road and rail bridge from Bognor Regis to Sydney Harbour via Mustique and Buenos Aires? With an off ramp to Kigali, but one way only - nothing that 'piccaninnies with watermelon smiles' might try to actually get on.

 

[Pickman's model]

It's possible we are limiting ourselves by hemispheres. Why not a road and rail bridge from Bognor Regis to Sydney Harbour via Mustique and Buenos Aires?

a simple look at the globe would reveal the impracticality of your proposal

 

[tommers]

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He looks fucking exhausted already. He's been on holiday!

 

[teqniq]

He looks fucking exhausted already. He's been on holiday!

Looks like too much booze and chang to me.

 

[Pickman's model]

Looks like too much booze and chang to me.

It's not too much booze, he's still alive. More not enough booze

 

[Bingoman]

Just been reading rumours that Johnson and Sunak are due to MEET?

 

[Pickman's model]

Just been reading rumours that Johnson and Sunak are due to MEET?

I don't know, have you?

 

[Karl Masks]

The nation burned, not just London?

Indeed

 

[Pickman's model]

I hope his constituents are angry that he fucked off for two months after resigning. He was partying as well while London burned just prior (on top of all that other partying).

Bring him in, just to have him booted out by the standards committee. That would be worth it

Be more fun to see him kicked in by the standards committee

 

[story]

Just been reading rumours that Johnson and Sunak are due to MEET?

They’ll be working towards a Granita pact.

C’mon, this script is writing itself.

 

[Tanya1982]

a simple look at the globe would reveal the impracticality of your proposal

Why let geography stop an ambitious proposal before friends have enjoyed the consultancy fees?

Thanks to BJ, we've got a wonderful garden bridge blocking the Thames, an airport in a protected wildlife area with multiple bridges connecting it to the mainland, and a bridge connecting Scotland and Ireland over the top of a military arms dump. These are just the humble beginnings. I'm sure there's much more to come.

 

[Pickman's model]

Why let geography stop an ambitious proposal before friends have enjoyed the consultancy fees?

There will be no consultants' fees. The former people will start building the bridge using materials found on South Georgia and expiate their egregious sins there and in the concurrent project to drain Falkland sound

 

[hash tag]

From today's rag in case anyone needs a refresher

Fines, lies and chaos: a reminder of Boris Johnson’s time as PM

As former prime minister expected to run again, a recap on what living under Johnson was like

www.theguardian.com

 

[Supine]

Just been reading rumours that Johnson and Sunak are due to MEET?

Fight to the death with nunchucks hopefully

Eta - go rishi

 

[scalyboy]

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Sadness in his eyes.. or panda-style bags under his eyes, after yet another "anything goes" all-night party hosted by his good friend and lifetime peer Yevgeny Lebedev?

 

[steveo87]

 

[Kaka Tim]

They’ll be working towards a Granita pact.

C’mon, this script is writing itself.

cant see sunack offering him anything - except maybe an extremely minor role to humiliate him - junior minister for cycle safety or something. If he cant get enough mps to back him - which seem to be the case - what can he offer sunack? his "magic" vote winning abiltiy? his ... er ... loyalty?

 

[Supine]

cant see sunack offering him anything - except maybe an extremely minor role to humiliate him - junior minister for cycle safety or something. If he cant get enough mps to back him - which seem to be the case - what can he offer sunack? his "magic" vote winning abiltiy? his ... er ... loyalty?

Seems a little unfair on cyclists

I suspect, knowing the sheer brass neck of the man, he will be offering to be pm and asking sunak to be his chancellor.

 

[Lord Camomile]

I've seen suggestions that if he becomes PM again, the govt would change the rules so that if the Parliamentary Privileges Committee finds that he did knowingly lie to the House (which of course we know he did, but I guess there has to be ironclad proof), and if, as I currently understand it, a fuckpig found to have deliberately misled the House must resign - they'd amend the rules so that it was "a matter for personal choice" whether to resign or not, or some such fuckery.

Well, then, that doesn't really sound like a rule at all at that point.

 

[story]

cant see sunack offering him anything - except maybe an extremely minor role to humiliate him - junior minister for cycle safety or something. If he cant get enough mps to back him - which seem to be the case - what can he offer sunack? his "magic" vote winning abiltiy? his ... er ... loyalty?

Why do you think they’re meeting (if they are)?

 

[bimble]

Who said they’re meeting? probably another lie like the 100 backers in the bag lie.

I think Johnson quite likely to ‘endorse’ sunak, to save face, bugger off back to the carribean and try again to launch his comeback in a couple of years.

 

[SpookyFrank]

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He does look like absolute death doesn't he?

 

[Ax^]

he looks like he has had to spend time with his wife and kids


can you imagine how difficult that would be for this feckless bastard