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If the planets replaced our moon - video

nah that is interesting, way more than moderately. I especially couldn’t wait to see Uranus.
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Saturn looked pretty cool...

Is the planets were where the moon is, what would be the physical effects - apart from comedic tides?
 
Saturn looked pretty cool...

Is the planets were where the moon is, what would be the physical effects - apart from comedic tides?

This is what one astronomer says would happen with Saturn - with Jupiter, Earth would probably end up as a ring around it.

When Saturn is still 20 times farther away than the Moon—well over 7 million kilometers distant—the tidal force it exerts on Earth is equal to the Moon’s. By the time it’s a million kilometers away that force has increased by a factor of more than 400! That would cause disaster on a global scale, mostly in the form of apocalyptic floods as huge tidal waves marched across the planet, destroying everything in their path.

By the time Saturn is at the same distance as the Moon, its tides would be many thousands of times stronger than the Moon’s. Fault lines would rupture, volcanoes would blow their tops, and anything left on the surface of the Earth would be wiped out.

 
I am relatively bored amongst other things. That was fun, but wouldn't the larger planets' gravity simply suck us in and obliterate Earth, in the same way that the Sun would fry us?

Nope. Gravity doesn't suck. Orbiting is more like constantly falling with enough tangential velocity to keep missing the planet.

The disaster that would befall us would be thanks to vastly increased tidal forces, in the case of the more massive planets. So expect the sea to slosh around a lot more than it does now, enough to inundate previously dry areas. The greater amount of tidal flexing would also induce greater geothermal activity, meaning that volcanoes would be popping off stronger and more frequently. Earthquake activity would likewise increase.

Eclipses would be longer and more frequent with greater partner size, so if we were orbiting Jupiter, an (hours-long?) eclipse would probably happen every week unless we had a very highly inclined orbit. Over the long term this would impact on the evolution of the biosphere.

Over the longer term, Earth's axial rotation would become locked with its orbital period, and thus our night and day cycles would equal however long it would take the Earth to orbit its planetary primary.
 
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This is an intriguing subject and I’ve just been googling, with mixed success, which moons orbit the closest to any of the solar System planets.

Phobos is the closest, orbiting a mere 9000-odd km about Mars. Which is much lower than some of our artificial satellites. Then again it can barely call itself a proper moon, as it’s tiny, about the size of Greater London.

Been trying to search for closest-orbiting proper-sized moons but haven’t found a list yet. But I would imagine there must be some kind of equation/ physical law governing the distance according to the mass of the ‘host’ planet?

In other words, a 1000 km diameter moon in a stable orbit just 50,000 km apart from its host planet might be viable for Earth or Mars, but very short-lived bid it was orbiting tge likes of Jupiter?
 
This is an intriguing subject and I’ve just been googling, with mixed success, which moons orbit the closest to any of the solar System planets.

Phobos is the closest, orbiting a mere 9000-odd km about Mars. Which is much lower than some of our artificial satellites. Then again it can barely call itself a proper moon, as it’s tiny, about the size of Greater London.

Been trying to search for closest-orbiting proper-sized moons but haven’t found a list yet. But I would imagine there must be some kind of equation/ physical law governing the distance according to the mass of the ‘host’ planet?

In other words, a 1000 km diameter moon in a stable orbit just 50,000 km apart from its host planet might be viable for Earth or Mars, but very short-lived bid it was orbiting tge likes of Jupiter?

Sounds like you're looking for a Roche limit calculator.
 
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