I just had a Homer moment on the phone!

[5t3IIa]

I'm on reception. People often call wanting to confirm contact details. This happens a lot as the co. has just moved location. Sometimes I ask people to call back later with the 2nd half of their bloody list as it can take sooo looooong.

So chap just now;

Him: "Hi I'm Whatsit, and I am ringing from So and So, I am calling to ask if I can confirm the contact details of a member of your Company who blah blah blah" <-- you'll notice he is using too many words to ask this simple question.
Me in my head: Hurry up
Me out loud: Hurry up

 

[Chairman Meow]

:d :d :d

 

[skyscraper101]

LOL...I used to have to be the one phoning and asking receptionists those questions. I hated that job so much.

 

[sojourner]

Doh!












sorry

 

[5t3IIa]

Doh!












sorry

Yup, it was one of those 'did I say that out loud? Yes? No! D'oh!'

 

[zenie]

Good they fuckin deserve it

'I'm ringing from such and such business directory' but you've never ever heard of the directory!

 

[Pingu]

heh

i can see me doing that at some point.

 

[baldrick]

Him: "Hi I'm Whatsit, and I am ringing from So and So, I am calling to ask if I can confirm the contact details of a member of your Company who blah blah blah" <-- you'll notice he is using too many words to ask this simple question.
Me in my head: Hurry up
Me out loud: Hurry up

lol brilliant stuff.

people with their monologues about what they want when they phone up, talking so you can't get a word in. 2 minutes later they stop and you tell them they need to speak to someone else

 

[5t3IIa]

lol brilliant stuff.

people with their monologues about what they want when they phone up, talking so you can't get a word in. 2 minutes later they stop and you tell them they need to speak to someone else

Zactly. I cope with this by plastering an approximation of a smile on my face during every phone call so I don't sound like the bored harridan I am inside

 

[aqua]

lol brilliant stuff.

people with their monologues about what they want when they phone up, talking so you can't get a word in. 2 minutes later they stop and you tell them they need to speak to someone else

do you even try to intercept those? I like to ask questions at the end just to make them speak more *then* transfer them

 

[tufty79]

hehehe

i'm starting to worry that i'm gonny answer my mobile with 'good afternoon, g**** *** ***, (tufty) speaking'...
i've started dreaming about work

 

[5t3IIa]

hehehe

i'm starting to worry that i'm gonny answer my mobile with 'good afternoon, g**** *** ***, (tufty) speaking'...
i've started dreaming about work

God, innit. I used to answer my fone like that but only when I really hated the job



<kissesnhugztoyou>

 

[baldrick]

do you even try to intercept those? I like to ask questions at the end just to make them speak more *then* transfer them

lol i will admit to doing that a few times when i feel particularly evil

 

[Thora]

LOL...I used to have to be the one phoning and asking receptionists those questions. I hated that job so much.

I did that job for a while too!

Selling conservatories was worse though.

 

[JTG]

Yesterday I was in such an unbelievably foul mood at work that I started doing that thing where you're mouthing things like 'shut the fuck up' and 'fuck off' at your turret.

One of these days I'm going to forget myself and I'll say it all out loud.

Had some South African bloke on the phone yesterday. He wanted to speak to someone but everyone was busy. I told him so and suggested we either try and call him back as soon as we could or that he book a call back at a specific time. I am in a position to guarantee this 'cos I allocate work out so I decide who gets called and in what order. He got all stroppy and wanted to speak to someone now. I told him that everyone was busy so he couldn't (wonder if he mysteriously turned deaf when I told him that first time?). He decided he was going to apply elsewhere then. I just said summat like 'OK, thanks for your call then' and hung up. Idiots like that deserve the hassle of having to reapply elsewhere.

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Yesterday I was in such an unbelievably foul mood at work that I started doing that thing where you're mouthing things like 'shut the fuck up' and 'fuck off' at your turret.:

Turret?

 

[JTG]

Turret?

it's the thing that plugs me into the phone line and enables me to make internal and external telephone calls

it's not quite the same as a phone

 

[Donna Ferentes]

Thank Christ for that. I thought you'd taken the Queen's shilling or something.

 

[maomao]

There's one woman who phones me at work who I absolutely hate. We had an argument about two years but she was pissed and doesn't remember. I just want to start punching her in her smug fucking face from the second i hear her voice on the phone. Anyway, when we're talking if she hangs up first as soon as I see the light on the phone go off I say 'and I hope you die of syphilis C******* you evil fucking cunt' while maintaining my customer friendly phone manner. Normally manages to silence the room.

 

[5t3IIa]

There's one woman who phones me at work who I absolutely hate. We had an argument about two years but she was pissed and doesn't remember. I just want to start punching her in her smug fucking face from the second i hear her voice on the phone. Anyway, when we're talking if she hangs up first as soon as I see the light on the phone go off I say 'and I hope you die of syphilis C******* you evil fucking cunt' while maintaining my customer friendly phone manner. Normally manages to silence the room.

Oh yeah - the 'Thanks for calling...<click> ...you giant arsehole' thing.

Childish and satisfying

 

[Hocus Eye.]

HelloTraceyspeak eng howmayIhep yoohooooo?

Is there a course for telephone receptionists where they learn that particular way of answering the phone?

 

[5t3IIa]

HelloTraceyspeak eng howmayIhep yoohooooo?

Is there a course for telephone receptionists where they learn that particular way of answering the phone?

I haven't been on it

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

I answer phones at two different jobs. Luckily, I've only answered with the wrong workplace tagline once.

 

[Yuwipi Woman]

HelloTraceyspeak eng howmayIhep yoohooooo?

Is there a course for telephone receptionists where they learn that particular way of answering the phone?

I'm told that I sound just like lady's voice at the airport that gives the "no loading or unloading" announcement.

 

[Gerry1time]

We get people phoning offering to let us pay thousands of pounds to speak at their conferences to 'key stakeholders' or whatever, who themselves pay hundreds each to be there. Always enjoy deflating them by saying we're so good we get paid to speak and to call back if they've got cash to offer us for being there. Can get into some wicked arguments with them, usually along the lines of

Them; 'You won't have been paid to speak to people as important as we get'
Me; 'yes i have <names names>'
Them; 'But, you can't have done'
Me 'Well i have'
Them 'But you can't have done'
etc

Over the summer a work experience girl had them going for half an hour by playing really dumb about the sheer stupidity of their idea. 'So, you want us to pay you to speak to an audience you're charging too?' 'we pay you for providing content at your event?'.

 

[butterfly child]

I'm a fucking great receptionist, I quite miss these type of exchanges with my colleagues:

Me: Oh hi, it's me. I've got a call for you.
Them: Who is it?
Me: Um... Dunno. They did say but I didn't quite catch it.
Them: Where are they calling from?
Me: Er... Can't remember.
Them: What case is it to do with?
Me: Um...
Them: <sigh>
Me: Thanks, I knew you'd take it!!
<click>

They really liked me at that place, too

 

[_pH_]

I'm a fucking great receptionist, I quite miss these type of exchanges with my colleagues:

Me: Oh hi, it's me. I've got a call for you.
Them: Who is it?
Me: Um... Dunno. They did say but I didn't quite catch it.
Them: Where are they calling from?
Me: Er... Can't remember.
Them: What case is it to do with?
Me: Um...
Them: <sigh>
Me: Thanks, I knew you'd take it!!
<click>

They really liked me at that place, too

You're my colleague Michelle and I claim my five pounds.

Even though she's worked with us for 6 months she still occasionally answers the phone with 'Hello, Carphone Warehouse?'. No Chell! You don't work there any more!

We still love her to bits though

 

[Riff]

I had this fuckwit on the phone yesterday:

Her "Hello, you've sent me a letter."
Me "Do you have the reference number so I can check your records?"
Her "No. I've left it at work."
Me "Ah."
<phone goes dead>
Me "Stupid woman!"

Followed by me pulling the "Unnngh!" face where shove your tongue down the inside of your bottom lip.