Glastonbury 2007 pt2: the festie!
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pagan
Guerilla Gardener
My Glasto
Ah, Somerset. Along with ‘zoiderr’, the easiest words to say with a cod west-country accent. Land of green fields and sleepy hedgerows. It had been a long journey from Edinburgh and we had hit Pilton at peak time so we thought, although the queues to get the van in were practically non existent. And the campervan field would be the only green field we would see all weekend. Unfortunately at the proper gates the Stewart Security heavies picked me out for a random search (random my arse as even my mum would admit I look a bit dodgy!) and I hadn’t bothered to stash my skunk after retrieving it from our cunning van hiding place. I was given the option:
1) not to be searched and to surrender my ticket
2) Voluntarily hand over my stash to the cunts
3) Not hand anything over and to be turned over to the pigs if they found anything.
I went for option 2, lost half my skunk stash – not the way I usually celebrate entering the festie site. Still, could have been worse…later I’d meet a lass who was skinning up at the Park area, got nabbed and searched by female security and lost 100 pills, 4g’s of Chas and half an oz!
First impressions were the site was rammed, Trash City looked wicked and that the fancy yurts were a tad overpriced at six grand. As Charlie Brooker wrote in his Guardian column “ Once you're in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That's Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus”
–We saw a lame fireshow at the Glebe Fire Stage – loads of Dr Who-esque villain crabs with water spouting from them, punctuated by the occasional burst of propane. Not exactly Burning Man.
The campervan/gazebo combo came into it’s own on Friday but eventually, when we could eat no more fried food, drink no more tea, smoke no more spliffs and everyone was bored of saying “I think it’s brightening up a bit over there”, it was time to venture down. Our journey coincided with another monsoon phase but we just got wet. Amy Winehouse was a tiny stick like figure identifiable only by the first hairpiece visible from outer space. She was ok but we were there for the Magic Numbers and they were fucking excellent, tight as anything and sounding just like they do on CD (not a bad thing for a band imo) towards the end of their set the sun came out and it was a classic Glasto moment.
Arcade Fire were excellent but their ‘whiny multi layered prog rock’ didn’t really lend itself to the Other Stage. I loved Bjork whose Icelandic warbling definitely did. Had a wander round Lost Vagueness and a bop to some wicked bebop 50’s stuff in the Diner. When I got back to the van I couldn’t believe that my $12 hiking boots I bought in a cheesy mall on the outskirts of Vegas (where it never rains) had kept my feet totally dry. In fact, I wore clean pair of hiking boots very day, working up to some very techie Gore-tex ones on Sunday and the only time I had a wet foot was when, ironically, I put my mates wellies on to go for a piss and they had an integral puddle.
On Saturday we ventured up the Park, a real slog in the mud, and caught Cherry Ghost (who were excellent) while sheltering under a little bus shelter (– note to Eavis, more bus shelters next year!) Unfortunately we didn’t feel like traipsing down to see CSS but eventually made it to the Roots tent where Bobby Friction did an impromptu DJ set in front of about 50 people waiting for the Mudevil Punditz. Then it was across to Eat Static who seem to have dropped the jazzy elements from their set and are back to their brilliant best. Managed to catch the Klaxons who were wicked.
Had my second run in with the law Saturday evening, walking to the Dance area. Two cops walk past us on the metal road. I turn to Mrs P and say ‘watch this’ and just as the cops pass, do a nifty little backheel, nicely flicking all the mud off my boot. We walk on laughing, then suddenly I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. I’ve had my collar felt! ‘Excuse me sir, is there any reason why you kicked mud all over us’ I think I’d actually splattered the guy’s face. I just put on my most innocent face and said ‘Oh, I’m really sorry mate, I didn’t see you there, I was just getting rid of the mud off me boot’ He actually was thinking of taking it further I’m sure but just said ‘don’t do it again’ I’d love to have seen that one in court. You are Mr Pagan, 39 years old of Edinburgh? It is alleged that in Pilton on the 25 June 2007 you did wilfully and knowingly allow mud to slide, with force and intent, off of your boot and onto the waterproof clothing of an officer of the law, causing slight splattering, loss of pride and a cleaning bill of £3.75! How do you plead?
And not sure exactly why but I ended up seeing Paul Weller, then coming back to the main stage to see The excellent Killers who were probably my favourite band of the weekend. Sound was pretty good where we were, just by the mixing desk, the Killer’s sound goes great on a mega stage and it was nice to see some silver Marc Jacob suits after so much khaki.
Normally I’d be bouncing around the site on Saturday night but the mud saps your energy so we just ended up eating donuts, seeing some cabaret stuff, some sword swallowers and some hot crusty chicks doing some trapeze stuff.
And……more rain, what joy! Mal managed to break a side window in the RV trying to close it so it was bye bye security deposit and hello indoor rain! Tried to see Mark Ronson but it was so rammed so we tried to get into The Saloon but it was too busy so we danced to some techno at the Glade which wasn’t at all busy then made our way over to Fat Freddy’s Drop at the jazz. To me that’s what it’s all about - seeing a band you don’t really know but now really like playing boppy skanky dub, surrounded by happy smiling people sharing alcohol and drugs. It was raining but I don’t think anyone really noticed by this time. Sunday night is my favourite time at Glasto – people have relaxed sufficiently by Sunday night to enter a state of blissful abandon. Fuck The Who.
And the usual shenanigans on Monday. We spent two hours packing the van up and planning our route out of the muddy field. Then I drove 10 feet and got us well and truly stuck. Our mates went off to buy donuts and we got a push out by some nice Glaswegians and joined the queue to get stuck in the mud on the way out. Luckily we found some poppers which somehow made pushing and driving more fun and with one final push, we were on the track and within 20 minutes we were on the A361 and on the long road back to Edinburgh. So, not a vintage Glasto but not bad. First Glasto I haven’t done heinous amounts of acid or mushrooms. More chemical toilet than chemical thrills, more Gore-tex than alfresco sex. Will I be back? Yeah, probably.
The best things about Glastonbury 2007
Lying in an RV listening to the rain, knowing all your stuff is dry
Gore Tex Boots
The Killers
Arcade Fire
Roots Tent
Trash City
The Hog roast voted best in UK
The unchanging nature of Tiny Tea
Not bumping into Kate Moss or Pete Doherty
Hot crusty fairies at the Fairylove stall
….and the worst
The Kate Moss effect is not a figment of fashion editors’ imaginations
Not being arsed to go and see Taniweren, CSS, ADF, Shirley Bassey or Bill Bailey
Not spending enough time in the Green Fields
Security (Cunts)
Lost Vagueness getting so rammed
Not getting the chance to put my tux on (see above)
Missing Africa Express
The Yorkshire puddings in the Giant Filled Yorkshire Puddings (the filling wasn’t up to much either!)
Shouty middle class boy at Amy Winehouse who thought he was being soooo witty
People who walk around braying 'oh, it's become soooo middle class these days in middle class, middle England accents
…and of course, the mud.
Ah, Somerset. Along with ‘zoiderr’, the easiest words to say with a cod west-country accent. Land of green fields and sleepy hedgerows. It had been a long journey from Edinburgh and we had hit Pilton at peak time so we thought, although the queues to get the van in were practically non existent. And the campervan field would be the only green field we would see all weekend. Unfortunately at the proper gates the Stewart Security heavies picked me out for a random search (random my arse as even my mum would admit I look a bit dodgy!) and I hadn’t bothered to stash my skunk after retrieving it from our cunning van hiding place. I was given the option:
1) not to be searched and to surrender my ticket
2) Voluntarily hand over my stash to the cunts
3) Not hand anything over and to be turned over to the pigs if they found anything.
I went for option 2, lost half my skunk stash – not the way I usually celebrate entering the festie site. Still, could have been worse…later I’d meet a lass who was skinning up at the Park area, got nabbed and searched by female security and lost 100 pills, 4g’s of Chas and half an oz!
First impressions were the site was rammed, Trash City looked wicked and that the fancy yurts were a tad overpriced at six grand. As Charlie Brooker wrote in his Guardian column “ Once you're in, the sheer scale of it is initially overwhelming. Imagine forcing the cast of Emmerdale to hurriedly construct Las Vegas at gunpoint in the rain. Then do it again. And once more for luck. That's Glastonbury: a cross between a medieval refugee camp and a recently detonated circus”
–We saw a lame fireshow at the Glebe Fire Stage – loads of Dr Who-esque villain crabs with water spouting from them, punctuated by the occasional burst of propane. Not exactly Burning Man.
The campervan/gazebo combo came into it’s own on Friday but eventually, when we could eat no more fried food, drink no more tea, smoke no more spliffs and everyone was bored of saying “I think it’s brightening up a bit over there”, it was time to venture down. Our journey coincided with another monsoon phase but we just got wet. Amy Winehouse was a tiny stick like figure identifiable only by the first hairpiece visible from outer space. She was ok but we were there for the Magic Numbers and they were fucking excellent, tight as anything and sounding just like they do on CD (not a bad thing for a band imo) towards the end of their set the sun came out and it was a classic Glasto moment.
Arcade Fire were excellent but their ‘whiny multi layered prog rock’ didn’t really lend itself to the Other Stage. I loved Bjork whose Icelandic warbling definitely did. Had a wander round Lost Vagueness and a bop to some wicked bebop 50’s stuff in the Diner. When I got back to the van I couldn’t believe that my $12 hiking boots I bought in a cheesy mall on the outskirts of Vegas (where it never rains) had kept my feet totally dry. In fact, I wore clean pair of hiking boots very day, working up to some very techie Gore-tex ones on Sunday and the only time I had a wet foot was when, ironically, I put my mates wellies on to go for a piss and they had an integral puddle.
On Saturday we ventured up the Park, a real slog in the mud, and caught Cherry Ghost (who were excellent) while sheltering under a little bus shelter (– note to Eavis, more bus shelters next year!) Unfortunately we didn’t feel like traipsing down to see CSS but eventually made it to the Roots tent where Bobby Friction did an impromptu DJ set in front of about 50 people waiting for the Mudevil Punditz. Then it was across to Eat Static who seem to have dropped the jazzy elements from their set and are back to their brilliant best. Managed to catch the Klaxons who were wicked.
Had my second run in with the law Saturday evening, walking to the Dance area. Two cops walk past us on the metal road. I turn to Mrs P and say ‘watch this’ and just as the cops pass, do a nifty little backheel, nicely flicking all the mud off my boot. We walk on laughing, then suddenly I feel a heavy hand on my shoulder. I’ve had my collar felt! ‘Excuse me sir, is there any reason why you kicked mud all over us’ I think I’d actually splattered the guy’s face. I just put on my most innocent face and said ‘Oh, I’m really sorry mate, I didn’t see you there, I was just getting rid of the mud off me boot’ He actually was thinking of taking it further I’m sure but just said ‘don’t do it again’ I’d love to have seen that one in court. You are Mr Pagan, 39 years old of Edinburgh? It is alleged that in Pilton on the 25 June 2007 you did wilfully and knowingly allow mud to slide, with force and intent, off of your boot and onto the waterproof clothing of an officer of the law, causing slight splattering, loss of pride and a cleaning bill of £3.75! How do you plead?
And not sure exactly why but I ended up seeing Paul Weller, then coming back to the main stage to see The excellent Killers who were probably my favourite band of the weekend. Sound was pretty good where we were, just by the mixing desk, the Killer’s sound goes great on a mega stage and it was nice to see some silver Marc Jacob suits after so much khaki.
Normally I’d be bouncing around the site on Saturday night but the mud saps your energy so we just ended up eating donuts, seeing some cabaret stuff, some sword swallowers and some hot crusty chicks doing some trapeze stuff.
And……more rain, what joy! Mal managed to break a side window in the RV trying to close it so it was bye bye security deposit and hello indoor rain! Tried to see Mark Ronson but it was so rammed so we tried to get into The Saloon but it was too busy so we danced to some techno at the Glade which wasn’t at all busy then made our way over to Fat Freddy’s Drop at the jazz. To me that’s what it’s all about - seeing a band you don’t really know but now really like playing boppy skanky dub, surrounded by happy smiling people sharing alcohol and drugs. It was raining but I don’t think anyone really noticed by this time. Sunday night is my favourite time at Glasto – people have relaxed sufficiently by Sunday night to enter a state of blissful abandon. Fuck The Who.
And the usual shenanigans on Monday. We spent two hours packing the van up and planning our route out of the muddy field. Then I drove 10 feet and got us well and truly stuck. Our mates went off to buy donuts and we got a push out by some nice Glaswegians and joined the queue to get stuck in the mud on the way out. Luckily we found some poppers which somehow made pushing and driving more fun and with one final push, we were on the track and within 20 minutes we were on the A361 and on the long road back to Edinburgh. So, not a vintage Glasto but not bad. First Glasto I haven’t done heinous amounts of acid or mushrooms. More chemical toilet than chemical thrills, more Gore-tex than alfresco sex. Will I be back? Yeah, probably.
The best things about Glastonbury 2007
Lying in an RV listening to the rain, knowing all your stuff is dry
Gore Tex Boots
The Killers
Arcade Fire
Roots Tent
Trash City
The Hog roast voted best in UK
The unchanging nature of Tiny Tea
Not bumping into Kate Moss or Pete Doherty
Hot crusty fairies at the Fairylove stall
….and the worst
The Kate Moss effect is not a figment of fashion editors’ imaginations
Not being arsed to go and see Taniweren, CSS, ADF, Shirley Bassey or Bill Bailey
Not spending enough time in the Green Fields
Security (Cunts)
Lost Vagueness getting so rammed
Not getting the chance to put my tux on (see above)
Missing Africa Express
The Yorkshire puddings in the Giant Filled Yorkshire Puddings (the filling wasn’t up to much either!)
Shouty middle class boy at Amy Winehouse who thought he was being soooo witty
People who walk around braying 'oh, it's become soooo middle class these days in middle class, middle England accents
…and of course, the mud.
wiskey
Albatross Admirer
maes
hello i was gone and now am somewhat back
so much fucking fun though! i got.... a cute little 1 man backpacking tent, a fucking TEEPEE, massive pirate flag and more booze than we could ever ever ever drink. and a fur coat. and more.Dubversion said:we were supposed to give maestrocloud a lift home. at the allotted hour, she announced she was having too much fun tatting round the debris knee deep in mud in just her undies.
crazy girl
arrrrrrrr!
The_Reverend_M
More bass, vicar?
The pirate flag was tres cool 
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
treefrog said:
at some point you made me nearly drop my cider n the mud through laughing. i checked my phone for messages and there was one from you that said "bernard, bernard. i ate your bees". in the condition i was in i nearly died laughing....
david dissadent
New Member
Now Im feeling fitter and healthier, I bloody want to go back again.
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
onemonkey said:
always has been though. people tend to go the other way when dropped off.
Despite exceptionally similar behaviour ....
... I put on no weight at all. I may even have lost some, if possible
Yahey! The Good Beer Diet!!
I did eat a breakfast every morning (including once in the rain outside the cafe under an umbrella, on Saturday, when a heavy shower came suddenly
) and also some snacks when necessary, and I had a very substantial Manic Organic once, but in general,. BEER IS FOOD!!
pennimania said:
... I put on no weight at all. I may even have lost some, if possible
Yahey! The Good Beer Diet!!
I did eat a breakfast every morning (including once in the rain outside the cafe under an umbrella, on Saturday, when a heavy shower came suddenly
) and also some snacks when necessary, and I had a very substantial Manic Organic once, but in general,. BEER IS FOOD!!
Truly excellent review from pagan 
We must meet up!
<works up to a best of/worst of review or list soon .... it'll be unrelated to music, cos that one came about twelve pages back** ... >
**ie yesterday
We must meet up!
<works up to a best of/worst of review or list soon .... it'll be unrelated to music, cos that one came about twelve pages back** ...
>**ie yesterday
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
wiskey said:
i ahd a mixed experience. while i appreciate that the weather made it hard to really communicate, i did nearly get into a fight with a girl during the post bjork crush - however for all i know she was having a panic attack like a couple of other people i know did (and indeed if i hadn't been so mashed i might well have fraked out). i did only meet one grade a cunt. on our way back to the tent one night we found some poor lass trying pick her bloke out of the mud. he'd had way too much JD and she couldn't move him so i helped carry him back to the tent and he was just being drunk. however back at the tent he turned into a fucking cunt and was rude to me and her and i actually thought he was going to hit her. i haven't actually been ready to hit anyone in years but i swear if he'd thumped her i would have appeared out of the darkness and laid him flat with one punch. i was nervous as hell cos i've never done that before. however she managed to slap some sense into him and it looks like they ended their relationship. poor shannon, i hope he was suitably decent to you in the morning and grovelled like a worm to keep you.
other than that i didn't have as many random convos as usual but i met some nice people stumbling about and had some good chats so no worries. also met this lovely kid... he was stumbling through the mud behind his mum and got stuck... she was fighting her way back to him, and so i picked him up and fuck me was it hard work. i handed him over and he was grinning like he was in heaven. i leant down and picked his shoe out the mud where it had remained and it took me two hands to get it out... he must have found it proper impossible and yet he was still smiling!
also, meems and i found a phone in the mud and called a few numbers until we managed to find someone who knew the owner... it was owned by a ten year old, and her dad was so grateful he insisted on giving us a tenner for helping.
on the whole i met lots of lovely people, p[lus a load of urbanites i haven't met before, especially scifisam and finalstryke who i got proper chats with, as well as some FOAF types who are now my friends too. was wonderful!
bluestreak
HomosexualityIsStalin’sAtomBombtoDestroyAmerica
editor said:
yeah, i've never had such a good year for tatting. i got loads of cool stuff... fuck these wasteful cunts, but without them i'd have to buy lots of stuff. even found a box of hash truffles! and a nice warm jumper to help keep meems warm on monday afternoon. if i could have carried more i would have had enough booze that i wouldn't need to buy any for weeks... i had collected 8 or 9 full wine boxes or bladders within five minutes of tent, and literally tens of cans of lager and bottles of cider.
May Kasahara
take me to the feeling
I hope you subjected any open white wine bladders to the sniff test before taking a swig
JTG said:Yeah I'd love to do a spot of tatting but carrying all your stuff back on the bus is hard enough without extra bits.
Maybe when I can drive and have a car/van
Hmm. Seems to me that there's a case for offering a secure property taxi service to designated points on site - the ped gates and coach stops, for example. This would be easy to achieve (pick up point in each field) with the vehicles running on a two-hour circulation round site. Give them your package at 10pm, pick it up at the pick up point you designate at 12pm. Walk to bus or car. There's an obvious risk on security, but that should not be an impossible challenge. Just think of the advantages. But who, but who, would run this? (Would people pay for it?)
scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
I would have loved to have gone collecting stuff! But we had a hire car with four people in it, and I was terrified enough about losing the deposit through the dirt. It took so much effort to get it clean! But we did get out of the car park and out of the area in about 15 minutes, which was a surprise.
One of my daughter's teachers was also at Glastonbury, it turns out, and he told the kids that he had to leave his tent there so that other people could have it. My daughter's friend was very annoyed with me for not leaving my tent behind.
One of my daughter's teachers was also at Glastonbury, it turns out, and he told the kids that he had to leave his tent there so that other people could have it. My daughter's friend was very annoyed with me for not leaving my tent behind.
scifisam
feck! arse! girls! drink!
rocketman said:
That actually sounds like a feasible extension of the property lock-ups. If they were run by the same people, they'd be secure (since the property would be returned to the owners the same way as property left in the lock-up is) and wouldn't cost that much extra on top of the lock-up cost. People might not pay for it, because they don't pay for lock-ups as it is, but if it got people off site sooner and left less crap to clean up it would pay for itself.
Will it ever happen? Hmmm.
How many?
About that pint you owe me ... well I'm prepared to forego that ...
bluestreak said:
About that pint you owe me ... well I'm prepared to forego that ...
