The theory of gravity is oppressive to the working classes. We need only look at Wells' definition of the classes: those who move objects at or near the surface of the earth, and those who supervise the above. What is is that keeps The Class stuck there, eh, eh?
Moreover the theory of gravity denies the essential telos that is revealed to me by my spiritual experience that you can't contest because it's a private quale, so nyer. The pre-Socratics had it right when they said that apples want to be closer to the Earth, just as Joe Hill had it right when he sang of Big Rock Candy Mountain - and, again I ask, what is it that's keeping The Class from soaring thereon?
Furthermore, the theory of gravity was foisted upon humanity by a mad alchemist, a probable Mason, and a paid-up member of the Ruling Class - Keeper of His Majesty's Mint, no less - and was inspired by the observations of a known Catholic who was ipso facto a believer in Papal infallibilty and therefore an intellectual authoritarian. I can argue until the cows come home about history and literary inspiration, so don't you come bullying me with your determinist empiricalist F = G * m1 * m2 / d^2 malarkey.
I therefore wish the theory of gravity out of existence. Any suggestion that I should rather seek ways in which The Class may liberate itself in the presence of this malign force is defeatism of the worst stripe, and offends my religious beliefs - for I Am and my telos is to destroy all wrong thought. (But I'm not a Descartean idealist. Ooops.)
If you do not immediately grasp the validity of this argument it's because you're stupid. Read some Kant. No, read it all.