One Man and his Campervan on BBC2 Utterly hilarious!!!!

[starfish2000]

It should be retitled "Trustfund Charlie and his adventures in Devon with Dominic and Hugo!".

I was expecting this guy to be some food and surfing expert, he was neither when I watched him steam fish in rolled up sheets of The Guardian I almost soiled myself

The Campervan was dull and he didnt seem to know how to turn the heating off on his prized campervan which is weird cos surely if you knew your campervan you'd be able to do that?

 

[paolo]

What is the correct accent for owning a campervan?

This is important. I am planning to get one and need to make sure I meet expectations.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Oh I was feeling really quite ill last night and will watch with a sick bag at the ready tonight - what kinda nerd tells you he's only going to be carrying the basic and then pulls out three coloured chopping boards LOL. The queasiness crept in when he calls at some quaint country pile and the owner calls him by name from the upstairs window and then he goes on to meet up with Simon and Jason and proves as a surfer he has no idea on tides after setting up a cooking fire in the face of an incoming tide. This guy was some faliure in the film industry, shot out of London in his VW and made it to Devon but obviously knows the right people to get this rubbish broadcasted.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Love the start, as he drove away from his home down a farm lane, waved off by his wife and child who if we believe his lifestyle probably rarely sees her wierd husband and probably gets straight on the phone to his business partner in their copyright and design business and tells him to get round quick for a good forage in her hedge while he's out of the way. Considering he stated that he would be eating food from foraging, last night consisted of a vist to a farm shop for the veg, fish from a net as his angling skills were shite, so perhaps tonights foraging for mushrooms in the new forest will leave him with enough gas to blow the camper roof off or if we are all lucky a slow painful death by fungi poisoning. No such bloody luck with a dozen episodes in the can.
I really really cant stand this tosser but will no doubt continue to watch developments in the faint hope some serious disaster will eventually come his way.

 

[London_Calling]

He'd done that beach cooking thing about zero times before, hadn't he. Plank.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

How right you are LOL. he describes how to cook fish wrapped in wet newspaper which just happens to be the guardian LOL but just in case cooks the other in foil. then later he quickly gives the mussels a quick stir just before the fire is swamped by the sea and declares them ready, strangely no steam is rising from this pot. I just had to visit his website and see where this tosser was coming from - Ha a self professed faliure in the film business but obviously knows enough people to throw this rubbish together for the BEEB. As usual its not what you know its who you know!!

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Does anybody know a contact with a small film production company that would be interested in funding the following project:
Driving around scenic UK coastal routes in a large luxury american Winibago camper with a full kitchen including Aga and filmed preparing and cooking meals from ingredients commonly found in most local deli's laced with splashes of wine from the several cases of best vintages from a top vitners. To add futher interest viewers could enjoy scenes of me
preparing and cooking seafood dishes on board charted luxury yachts moored off the odd private beach, no fishing rods, gritty muscles, stinking wild garlic covered in dog piss or some bone riddled fish steamed in a wet newspaper I promise!

 

[moose]

He's a right tit. First became aware of him last year when he brought out a professor-of-the-bleeding-obvious cookery book about cooking in a campervan.

 

[DaRealSpoon]

Yeh, it was a bit cringeworthy.. Not least because he's such a lucky git! Made me properly jealous seeing him in that clean surf on a gorgeous day after I'd been out in messy slop for 2hours and couldn't catch the side of a barn door other than to get really fucking COLD!!!!

 

[paolo]

The Guardian

It was The Times.

 

[El Sueno]

i watched a bit of this on iPlayer today after someone told me they thought it was a spoof. The man is a hideous knob and no mistake.

 

[El Sueno]

I remember he said something like "I've been driving around in my campervan with my surfing mates for years", then gave said surfing mates "the guided tour" and everybody acted like it was the first campervan they'd seen in their lives. Including the fucking campervan man.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Paolo - I think your probably right on the Times, hope you are developing the ex public school accent first, then you study Jamie Oliver to downgrade it to a spoof eastenders type accent. The Jamie Oliver reference was a link because it appears that the same manager that got both Jamie Oliver and Gary Rhodes early careers kicked off also seems to be behind this total tosser.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Following last episode - We are all going to be treated to a new cook book including tips on how to traverse a cow in the road, surprised he didnt hit it and make a decent steak meal, another section will provide details on how to drive a campervan like a knobhead Sunday driver including sing along song sheets, doobie doobie la la la.......
You kind hoped there was going to be a Italian Job style meeting with a bulldozer around the next bend to pitch him and his van over some cliff. ok thats a bit harsh on the van!

 

[fractionMan]

I wish I'd seen this

 

[Stoat Boy]

i watched a bit of this on iPlayer today after someone told me they thought it was a spoof. The man is a hideous knob and no mistake.

It has to be a spoof.

There is no way its a 'real' programe.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Stoat Boy - Regrettably this is not a spoof program - Unbelievable I know! And Moose your right, I had a look at his campervan cookbook, very usefull if you forget the bog rolls on your camervan trip. Please dont follow all the helpfull culinary tips, the first episode suggested chucking out any mussles that floated, so unless you want a severe dose of brown trouser combined with projectile vommiting and a tempreture you could cook at I understand you should chuck out all shellfish that fails to open while cooking. Better still parcel them up and send them to this plonker!

 

[BlackArab]

Pig_In_Wig, is he your ex or summat?

Just asking.

 

[copymonkey]

http://www.martindorey.com/who-am-i/martin-the-campervan-man/

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

BlackArab - If I told you I taught this guy to cook I`d be lying... If I told you I was his haidresser and stylist I`d be lying.... If I told you that I was his ex I`d definitely be lying cos this guy would have been dead for sure...

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

It would now appear that this plonker has put this van together for this TV trip,and guess what? its now up for holiday rentals.
Tonight he explained how he had a really rough night - IT RAINED! Great bit tho the van bit back nearly causing a frontal lobotomy, a minor head injury required treatment, pity the hospital did't stitch his mouth up instead and we could have escaped the Sound of Music sketch with this nutter prancing around singing the hills are alive la la la lala.

 

[Gingerman]

Pig_In_Wig,Im sensing a lot of hostility towards him in your posts

 

[moose]

I remember he said something like "I've been driving around in my campervan with my surfing mates for years", then gave said surfing mates "the guided tour" and everybody acted like it was the first campervan they'd seen in their lives. Including the fucking campervan man.

Apparently he's always had T25s before, it's his first T2. Let's hope he knows where the oil goes, unless like the hapless Mr Oliver.

 

[Pig_In_Wig]

Getting Mad

 

[belboid]

Tonight he explained how he had a really rough night - IT RAINED! Great bit tho the van bit back nearly causing a frontal lobotomy, a minor head injury required treatment, pity the hospital did't stitch his mouth up instead and we could have escaped the Sound of Music sketch with this nutter prancing around singing the hills are alive la la la lala.

that was almost funny. Tosser had obviously got pissed before going out. And why didn't he have a bog in his camper anyway?

The useless turd.

 

[diane/cornwall]

one man and his campervan

I cant believe this idiot was given time on the BBC.The licence payer is funding this pointless program.There is no direction,no visible skills from this character who resembles some sort of Rupert Bear on a jolly adventure.I think he should have been put on CBBC.The program is unintentionally hilarious for so many reasons.He doesnt represent the normal campervan owner, only a small minority of pretentious clueless 'weekend surfers' that we regularly see down here in Cornwall.They most definitely cant surf.
He also seems to have the mentality of a five year old and I love the bored expressions on the people he has so far encountered.
As for the 'cooking' my son and his real surfing friends are experienced in the art of knocking up fast,hot food when they get out of the surf.That is the real experience not a pillock pretending to be a mixture of Keith Floyd,Jamie Oliver and Rick Stein,without any of the charisma,flair or talent.What a total waste of licence payers money.I can only assume one of the producers is a pretend weekend campervan owner/surfer.

 

[Cid]

This is cool, in that section about how he's the campervan man he says 'Dave (or Gordy as he ends up being called)' is his camper's name, then in the 'rent my van' section he says 'Gordy (or Dave as we call him)' - He's so wacky!!??!

 

[Part 2]

Been watching this with my young un, it's like children's telly. He's such a prat

 

[rollinder]

This is cool, in that section about how he's the campervan man he says 'Dave (or Gordy as he ends up being called)' is his camper's name, then in the 'rent my van' section he says 'Gordy (or Dave as we call him)' - He's so wacky!!??!

has he named his campervan after

and

?

 

[Hocus Eye.]

Pig in a Wig, I was highly amused at the thought of an Aga in a Winnebago. There would probably be room but I think the floor might sag a bit. I haven't seen the campervan programme and I think I will give it a miss.