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Which Urbanite has the shitest job? - The Nominations!!

DrRingDing

DrRingDing

'anti-human wanker'
I'll start with me.

I'm a paper boy in a foreign cold country.

I get up a 4am and am outside a quarter of an hour later in all weathers.

I have to deliver to blocks of flats which means constant walking up and down stairs. I have a million keys, which are a pain in the arse to let myself into these flats. Having to constantly unlock doors means I can't wear gloves. This resulted in my fingers being so numb I loose almost all motor control of my poor frosty fingers.

This morning I woke up to a blanket of snow which is gorgeous but makes it impossible for me to ride my bike and pull my paper trailer.

The country I'm in has a lot of mind numbing nationalism and thus an atmosphere to breed racism. Since one 'customer' has found out I'm a Johnny Foreigner he's complained twice about me for no good reason.

I don't believe I have the worst job on Urban as I know we have some factory workers here and from extensive experience of working in such soul destroying places that must be the shitest.

Next!
 
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad and our mother would kill us and dance about on our graves singing Hallelujah.
 
Firky said:
I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed...
Click to expand...

:D

Doley, so can't compete really, although I did once work in a photo print shop with a (female) manager who groped me and smelled of vomit.
 
i used to have one of tose sit in an empty room with a phonebook phoning people up at teatime to sell them double glazing jobs :(
 
Three years ago I decorated 9 foot tall xmas trees outside in the cold attaching everything with little bits of green wire for 10 hours a day on minimum wage. And then they sacked me after xmas!
Made me go and get a proper job though...

I think the postman wins for me so far. 4am! :(
 
BootyLove said:
Three years ago I decorated 9 foot tall xmas trees outside in the cold attaching everything with little bits of green wire for 10 hours a day on minimum wage. And then they sacked me after xmas!
Click to expand...

Were you not expecting to get sacked after Xmas? :confused:
 
Ninjaboy said:
i used to have one of tose sit in an empty room with a phonebook phoning people up at teatime to sell them double glazing jobs :(
Click to expand...

And you took the piss out of me for not going to the interview :D

smug air of superiority surrounded me
 
I spent part of last week on mud flats photographing esturine mud-snails in sub-zero tempratures & a blizzard!
 
pogofish said:
I spent part of last week on mud flats photographing esturine mud-snails in sub-zero tempratures & a blizzard!
Click to expand...

That sounds pretty fooking cool actually. More interesting than most jobs, I'm sure.
 
pogofish said:
I spent part of last week on mud flats photographing esturine mud-snails in sub-zero tempratures & a blizzard!
Click to expand...

That aint shit, thats pretty fly.
 
Ninjaboy said:
i did meet them lasses like

every cloud...
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but she invited her sister, "you're thinkin, whats that crazy bitch gonna do next?"

don't fucking sit on more furniture... please.
 
I nominate firky for his sterling work as a fluffer in scat movies, which he uses to supplement his income from being a jizz mopper in a porn theatre.
 
kyser_soze said:
I nominate firky for his sterling work as a fluffer in scat movies, which he uses to supplement his income from being a jizz mopper in a porn theatre.
Click to expand...

It is good to be recognised..... aye! :)
 
Shity Jobs

Firky said:
It is good to be recognised..... aye! :)
Click to expand...
I had a job cleaning carpets 6 days a week about 14 hours a day. On Christmas Eve, believe it or not, this family had us in their house cleaning around the Christmas tree. the carpet was so old that it was as thin as paper and kept getting caught in the machine.

One time we had to clean a carpet full of dog vomit. Everytime you hit a patch the smell would waft up into your face. Behind the cabinet there were all kinds of spider webs full of flees. Guess what happened to us? :cool:
 
although i'm currently off sick and therefore not feeling quite as pissed off with my job as i would be if i was there i rekkon my jobs a bit pants.

*i get up at 5 and start at 6:45AM! or i start at 6:45 at night and have to fight rush hour to get into work.
*i work weekends and nights
*i work xmas and new year
*i work 12hr shifts
*everybody i speak to is having some crisis or other
*everybody i speak to is stressed and rude/abusive/obnoxious
*i'm expected to speak or understand 200 different languages including cuntish and gibberish
*i am expected to know every road name in london and/or to immediately know which macdonals you're talking about
*i talk to lots of drunk people.
*i dont get paid enough
*we are underfunded and under resourced.
*i wear a GREEN uniform!

etc

:D

i love it
 
kyser_soze said:
I nominate firky for his sterling work as a fluffer in scat movies, which he uses to supplement his income from being a jizz mopper in a porn theatre.
Click to expand...

You sir know far too much :p
 
Shite jobs, I've had a few but after all too few to mention (unfortunately not).

Working as a despatch rider in winter (only lasted 18 months).Left Bristol at midday, temperature indicator on Evening Post building showing -4C, rush job to a hospital in Merthyr. Got past Abergavenny and noticed the foot of snow on top of cars coming down from the Heads of the Valleys roads. Got to Merthyr, had to fill up maggot (CX500), pulled into first garage then realised entire forecourt was covered in black ice.Somehow got off forecourt in one piece and manged to find hospital (top tip: don't ask people directions in Merthyr wearing a flourescent bib showing that you come from Bristol). Security guard at hospital told me to ride up steps and park directly in front of hospital otherwise bike would get nicked.Got back to to office in Bristol, legs frozen solid, couldn't put a foot down when I came to a stop, ended up dropping bike, spent half an hour bent double until circulation returned.

I still reckon that was better than any job involving dealing with the public!
 
i nominate wiskey

for all the reasons she's already stated, but also because on top of all that she still found time for a mercy to chez elvis when i was stuck on my arse and poorly a year ago

the green uniform sucks btw
 
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